You have come to the right place for practical ideas and creative solutions to enhance life quality and maximize potential of individuals with autism.
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Paul created the clever illustrations, and Bill composed and performed the music. Both are friends diagnosed with autism.
Before heading out for a spring break trip or a weekend at Grandma’s house, take a look at some of these ideas for personalized travel bags. These tried-and-true ideas have helped decrease travel anxiety for individuals with autism and their families, so you might want to give them a try.
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Flapping hands. Rocking. Ehoing phrases or words. Repeating sequences of numbers or letters. Humming. Murmuring. Spinning objects. Playing with threads or strings. Tapping or slapping objects. Chewing on hair or fingernails. Talking about one person or topic repetitively. Insisting on the same food or clothing or daily routine. These are among the long list of obsessions characteristic of individuals with autism. What is the most productive way to deal with obsessions? At what point do we become obsessed with obsessions of our friends with autism?
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For whatever reason, many of my friends with autism impulsively touch other people, including strangers. For example, the dad of a teenager with autism was horrified recently when his son reached out to straighten the bottom of the jacket of a stranger in the grocery store. When the gentleman felt someone’s hand in an inappropriate spot, he turned around abruptly and spoke curtly to the youngster. The gentleman had no way of knowing, of course, that the tall teenager was non-verbal and diagnosed with autism. The dad just froze and was unable to think of anything to say.
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Sometimes youngsters with autism are slow to follow directions, even when told to do something they enjoy. We can certainly expect nearly every kid to respond reluctantly when we ask them to finish an unpopular chore or to go to bed early. But, some of our friends with autism are very slow to respond even when being asked to do something they really want to do. For example, sometimes a youngster appears to be reluctant when a teacher says, “Everybody line up for recess,” or a grandmother says, “Let’s go sit on the swing and read this book.” That apparent reluctance may actually be due to a processing delay.
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“It seems like we are never able to relax,” commented the parents of a fourteen-year-old with autism. “We need to constantly keep watch our son to prevent him from hurting himself or from breaking or tearing up items around the house. He pulls clothes from closets, items from drawers, food from cabinets, and books from shelves. We feel like all we ever say to him is, ‘Don’t touch’ or ‘Leave that alone.’ We need some ideas.”
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“My daughter rarely follow directions,” commented the dad of a pre-teen diagnosed with autism. “She doesn’t have functional speech, but she is able to communicate her needs and seems to understand much of what we say to her. We don’t know if she is unwilling to follow directions or if she is unable to do so.”
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What is a person trying to communicate when they suddenly start screaming, hitting, or biting? What are they saying when they suddenly drop to the floor or scratch their arm or hit their face? Teachers, family members, job coaches, therapists, and others spend a great deal of time and energy attempting to translate these characteristic forms of extreme communication displayed by some individuals with autism.
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“In spite of years of effort by dedicated teachers and therapists and lots of attention from a loving family, my son isn’t able to talk or read anything but functional words,” commented a father of a young adult with autism. “But he has been given many opportunities over the years to use what gifts he does have. For example, he is proud of being in charge of many important tasks around the house because he is the only person in our family who has a good memory.”
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“Our son seems to always do the opposite of what we ask him to do,” said parents of an 11-year-old diagnosed with autism. “This is becoming quite a problem at home and at school. Last week, both of us told him very clearly not to go out the door, and out he went, right into the street.”
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How do we respond when someone insults a family member or friend with autism? What can we say when an acquaintance or a stranger criticizes our parenting or teaching after observing a behavior outburst? What recourse do we have when we realize the public or the press has spoken about autism in negative or insulting terms?
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“For several years, my son’s IEP has reflected the goals of his learning his alphabet and learning to count to 100,” commented a parent of a pre-teen diagnosed with autism. “He is beginning to pay more attention to academic concepts, so I don’t mind the continued effort in these areas. But it seems to me that he needs to learn things beyond sequencing letters and numbers.” Other parents have made similar comments about interest in their child beginning to work on skills beyond the rote skills such as identifying colors, writing their name, and learning the months of the year, even if they have not mastered these basic skills.
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Parents of a pre-teen diagnosed with autism realized the scope of behavior issues they are facing. They stated they wanted to avoid constant nagging, and they didn’t want their lives to be ruled by multiple, complex behavior management plans. The parents were looking for ways to prioritize behaviors and to decide which behaviors to tackle first.
“Sometimes it is difficult to see that we are making any progress with some very difficult behaviors,” commented a therapist working with several individuals with autism. “I wonder if I need to approach the situation differently.” Other teachers and family members have expressed similar frustration, especially when working to decrease very disruptive or inappropriate behaviors. Forward progress is often more noticeable when we define target objectives in positive terms and when we systematically teach the appropriate behavior. Increasing “good” behaviors automatically decreases “bad” behaviors.
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It would certainly be easier if someone could develop a fool-proof strategy for helping maximize the potential of all individuals with autism. A pre-packaged, step-by-step, fool-proof plan that worked in every situation would certainly decrease stress levels of family members, teachers, job coaches, residential staff, and others interested in the well-being of people with autism. But, in reality, such a plan is impossible. That would be like inventing one shoe and making it fit the foot of every person in the world. In the world of autism, one size definitely does not fit all.
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A teen who said, “A psychiatrist told my parents that I have Asperger’s syndrome,” wrote that he wishes other people would be more tolerant and understanding of some of his “odd” behaviors. He wrote that some of his family members get upset when he rocks or moves his hands. “I wish they could understand that sometimes I forget and just do things that make me look autistic.” He also commented that he wishes they would understand that making repetitive motions is “just part of autism, just like not hearing the telephone ring is part of being deaf.”
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Fireworks are a fun part of many summer celebrations – ball games, outdoor concerts, amusement parks, and other big events. But many individuals with autism react to random, loud noises by screaming, scratching, throwing objects, or running away. How can we help our friends enjoy the colorful visual patterns and brilliant bursts of light in a fireworks display?
“My daughter has outgrown her favorite childhood toy, and the stuffed puppy is simply worn to shreds,” commented a parent of a 4th grader diagnosed with autism. “I realize that she is dependent upon her puppy to help her stay grounded during the day and to reduce the trauma of transition, but her favorite stuffed animal is simply falling apart.” Several other parents and teachers have asked for some ideas about durable, inexpensive, age-appropriate substitutes for “baby toys” to use as transition objects.
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In my work as a music therapist since 1974, I’ve had the privilege of working with dozens and dozens of individuals with autism and their families. I’ve known some of my friends for over thirty years, walking side by side as they have encountered difficult challenges and heartbreaks as well as joyful moments. These experiences have taught me about perseverance, patience, forgiveness, and hope. As a result of these many friendships and experiences, I’ve developed a list of “Ten Steps to Sanity” for family members, teachers, and others who care about the well-being of individuals with autism.
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Because most of us just join into group activities naturally, we are not aware of the vast array of prerequisite skills necessary to do so. In addition to dealing with issues surrounding transition, compliance, peer interaction, and sensory overload, individuals with autism must be aware of and follow commonly understood unwritten group rules.
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Sometimes our patience can be pushed to the limit, tempting us to give up on a strategy that doesn’t seem to be bearing any fruit. For example, a youngster functioning on the spectrum of autism may not seem to be noticing his peers or the words of his teachers or any of the activity swirling around him at school. When this lack of focus persists for years, it would be natural to conclude that he will not learn to read. But, occasionally, an unexpected breakthrough can remind us to be patient and persistent when it is in the best interest of our friends with autism.
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