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1. This mom had a great idea for using duct tape to alleviate anxiety for her daughter when using a public restroom. Mom wrote, “Almost all the toilets have electric eye flusher systems – and the anxiety of it flushing when she wasn’t “ready” made her a wreck and me too – so I would tape over the electric eye while she was in the stall & then remove it when she was done.”

2. This mom also recommended duct tape for emergency repairs. If something breaks, you can fix it quickly and without fanfare. And I’m convinced duct tape has magic properties, i.e. somehow broken items stay together until you can get home and get a “real” repair job done.

3. Over the years, I’ve noticed the therapeutic qualities of duct tape. If one of my friends with autism gets anxious or frustrated, I stick a small piece of duct tape on the knee of their jeans or tennis shoes or even the palms of their hands. Repetitively sticking and unsticking the duct tape often distracts my friend and diffuses their distress.

TIP FOR THE DAY: I’ve noticed that duct tape comes in colors now, but, for some reason, I still like the traditional silver color. I keep a small roll in a ziplock bag with a small pair of scissors to get the tape going so I can tear off a bit easily.

Duct tape is handy, and so are our new FAQautism.com Toolkits. Click on the Toolkit tab on our website to check out these great resources; http://FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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At least a week before school starts, parents of a youngster with autism who is attending a different school this fall might want to ask a counselor or other staff member to give their child an informal, low-key, personalized “welcome tour” helping them learn the location of their book locker and gym locker and classes. It would be good to help them pre-plan their daily route so they can get from class to class on time with all the necessary supplies and books.

Purposeful, casual, one-to-one instruction about some of the school traditions, procedures, and expected behaviors would certainly make transition MUCH smoother for individuals with autism, many of whom are visual learners and simply may not process all the verbal instructions given during orientation in a large all-school assembly.

So, before the first day of school, make arrangements for a “welcome tour” to help students with autism learn about (1) emergency drills and procedures, (2) expected behavior during morning announcements, (3) location of restrooms, (4) expected behavior in the hallways between classes and during classes (5) procedure for riding the school bus, (6) lunchroom procedures, (7) expected behavior during pep rally and other group gatherings, (8) procedures for dressing out in gym class, and (9) who to contact with questions or problems. I encourage parents to tag along if appropriate so they can help remind their youngster of the new routines if needed.

We welcome your input. Share challenges and ideas based on your experiences or intuition. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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I remember one young lady who did not understand the implications of a “Traditions Rally” on the first day of high school. In keeping with one of the long-standing school traditions, everyone walked around the school seal on the floor in the lobby in memory of fallen soldiers from their high school. Needless to say, everyone was horrified the next morning when they saw this young freshman standing in the middle of the school seal the next day, holding her back pack, and looking up at the sky light in the dome high above the seal.

This attentive young lady was an honor student with normal receptive language and an excellent memory. But she was missing the executive function required to translate the information about the memorial seal from a hypothetical discussion to an expected behavior. Fortunately, she didn’t pick up on the disapproval of her peers, and a teacher quietly helped her understand that she needed to stand outside the decorated area on the floor, but that could have easily turned into a disaster.

Some elementary schools use a “traffic light” system to monitor noise in the lunchrooms. When the light is green, people are free to talk to their neighbors. A yellow light is a warning to talk softly, and a red light is a signal for complete silence. Because many youngsters with autism think in concrete terms, their literal interpretation of the traffic light makes it difficult to generalize the rules from car traffic to the noise level in the cafeteria.

A young teen was embarrassed when she stood up in gym class. The coach had said, “All the boys, pay attention. You need to stand up.” The female student focused on the coach’s words when he said, “pay attention” and “stand up,” so she missed that key phrase, “all the boys.”

Miscommunication results when we assume youngsters know the meaning of symbolic words. For example, some of my young friends with autism have taken the phrase “moment of silence” literally during the morning announcements, leading to problems with talking during that very long “moment.”

One of my pre-teen friends with autism took the principal’s instructions very literally when she said, “Everyone will sit with their homeroom during lunch.” So, after getting his lunch tray, the young student walked to his homeroom to eat! ☺

We hope you will share your experiences about communication glitches at school, home, or work. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Because of individual differences, it is difficult to come up with a “one-size-fits-all” strategy for building a smooth bridge between summer and the school year. But several basic strategies have helped the process for lots of folks over the years.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE DIFFICULTY. If we recognize and accept that fact that resistance to change is a natural result of autism, we can take positive, pro-active steps to help our youngsters make a smooth transition from summer to school. The whole process can be less stressful if family members, teachers, and others accept the fact that transition and change are difficult for many individuals with autism. That doesn’t mean that we should ignore inappropriate and troublesome behavior, but it does mean that we can adopt an attitude of helping our friend on their journey rather than getting frustrated with their tantrums and stubbornness.

INTRODUCE CHANGE GRADUALLY. Several weeks before school starts, we can gradually begin introducing structure to the evening routine and to the morning routine. We can gradually begin waking our youngster up closer and closer to the time they will need to rise once school starts.

MAKE TRANSITION AN ADVENTURE. Purchase a calendar that can be used to keep track of the last weeks before school starts. Your youngster with autism can mark off each day in a countdown to school, and he can write down “back-to-school events” such as shopping for school supplies and Meet the Teacher night. Your family can have a “Last Day of Summer” party that includes swimming, carving a watermelon, churning ice cream, or other favorite summer activities. Granted, a low-key approach is better for some individuals with autism who would be overwhelmed with all this excitement, but others get distracted with the celebrations, making back-to-school blues evaporate.

We welcome your input. Share challenges and ideas based on your experiences or intuition. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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TRANSITION. Our friends tend to focus on one activity and to resist changing to a new activity. Even when heading for a favorite activity, individuals with autism struggle with transition. Inflexibility and transition issues often lead to severe emotional meltdowns, resulting in pre-schoolers with autism being viewed as difficult, stubborn, and disruptive.
BOUNDARIES. Many early childhood group activities are on the floor with no visible boundaries. The lack of a defined sitting space leads most pre-schoolers to lie on their backs, lean on their neighbors, and kick their feet. These and other wiggly, squirmy actions interfere with their participation in the group. The squirmy issue is often magnified with a child with autism.
CHANGE OF RULES. During free time and play time, pre-schoolers are encouraged to run and shout and throw balls and talk to their friends. All of a sudden, the rules change when they come to circle time. Even very cooperative, compliant kids have trouble sorting out different rules for different places in the same classroom.
FOCUS. The teacher must be somewhat of an entertainer in order to capture and hold the attention of the students during group time. Circle time usually consists of singing songs, using puppets, telling stories, and displaying pictures and interesting objects. When teaching youngsters with autism, there is a fine line between these two principles: (1) making things interesting enough to capture and maintain attention, and (2) making things too bright and too noisy and too fast, leading to sensory overload.
PARTICIPATION. Social interaction, receptive language, expressive language, and reciprocal communication are all skills necessary for successful participation in most group activities. ALL of these areas are inherently challenging for individuals with autism.

Given these factors, it is easy to see how a youngster with autism might perceive a pre-school classroom as chaotic. lWe invite you to share your observations and experiences. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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1. PROBLEMS WITH A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL. For a variety of reasons, even the most avid swimmer with autism may not be able to swim in a public pool. Among other things, a person with autism may not be able to tolerate crowds or may not follow the rules and comply with the lifeguard. Several of my friends with autism are overly obsessed with rules, so they become very agitated when another person at the pool doesn’t follow the rules immediately and to the “letter of the law.” Some individuals with autism are oblivious to other people or to danger, so they may swim under the diving board or may jump in the water right on top of another swimmer. These issues, along with others, make swimming in a public pool very challenging.

2. ALTERNATIVES TO A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL. Since some youngsters with autism simply cannot tolerate swimming in a public pool, or because their public pool behavior or interaction with people in public places is inappropriate or unsafe, let us look at some other fun water activities.

+ Water sprinkler. The traditional water hose has expanded to some very sophisticated water sprinklers that many of my friends of all ages with autism find intriguing. One young adult loves to sit in a lawn chair under a water sprinkler that shoots randomly in all directions. Another loves the “on and off” rhythm of a traditional lawn sprinkler that sways back and forth.

+ Backyard pool. It may be that a backyard pool is the best solution if a public pool is not an option. One of my friends will not wear a swim suit, but insists on wearing sweats for swimming. That wouldn’t work in a public pool with deep water, but is fine for a backyard pool that is only waist deep. And sunburn isn’t a problem ☺

+ Year-round swimming. One of my buddies with autism who is typically very agitated with life in general, is just enthralled with swimming, finding is very relaxing. His parents have installed an above ground heated pool in their garage so he can swim all year long! Another parent fills up the bathtub in the winter and encourages her water-loving daughter to put on her swimsuit so she can play in the “winter swimming pool.”

TIP FOR THE DAY: The idea to think out of the box. With careful planning we can help our friends with autism enjoy swimming and other water activities while minimizing challenging behaviors and other difficult issues. Hope you will click on our website http://FAQautism.com to find hundreds more helpful tips and resources.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Whether in a swimming pool, lake, river, or even a kiddy pool, our first obligation to our friends with autism is water safety. Except in rare incidences, we simply must assume that a teen or adult with autism needs supervision around water.

No one should swim alone, of course, but sometimes individuals with autism, even those who are very bright and thoughtful, simply do not comprehend the concept of danger. While we should not make our friends fearful of water, we need to teach and enforce basic water safety. Warnings like “You’d better not do that or you could get hurt” or “If you go in the deep water, you might drown” have little meaning to many individuals with autism and will not deter potentially dangerous behavior.

Rather than showering our friends with dire warnings and constant nagging about water safety, it might work better to develop a “Water Safety Routine” that you follow every single time you go swimming, boating, or even wading in a stream that may have an unexpected drop-off or other unseen danger. Let’s take a look at a water safety routine one family developed for their 10-year-old with autism who is fearless and rather obsessed with water.
Step 1: The family decided against a pool in the yard since 24/7 supervision is impossible. They have also quietly contacted families in the neighborhood who do have pools, politely telling them of their son’s autism and his obsession with water, and requesting they fence the pools and keep the gates locked.
Step 2: Because swimming is their son’s primary interest, the family takes him swimming as often as possible.
Step 3: Family pool rules are strictly reinforced for this youngster. He is reminded before going swimming and upon arrival at the pool to “Stop, look, and listen.” “Stop” means to freeze on the side of the pool. “Look” means to look at his personalized life-guard and wait for a nod to get in the water. “Listen” means to stop and look if he hears a certain whistle sound, waiting to see what his personal lifeguard has to say, then to follow that instruction right away. If he breaks any of the rules, his swimming time is immediately over.

This safety routine, of course, will not work for everyone, but it is an example of a consistent procedure that, over time, helps a youngster anticipate the hard and fast rules so he can relax and enjoy swimming to his heart’s content.

In part 2 of our swimming pools podcast, we will look at some alternatives to public pools and some ideas for moderating a perseverative person’s obsession with water. Tune in tomorrow for Swimming Pools, Part 2.

And, don’t forget to click on the Toolkit tab on our website – http://FAQautism.com – to find some great resources to help us systematically address other challenges that arise as a result of autism.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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One strategy for making the most of each day is to plan a “Summer Special” – an event that a youngster can look forward to each day in August. This can be something very simple, a fun activity that celebrates summertime. For example, you could add any one of these activities on a calendar each day in August:
1. playing in the water sprinkler
2. giving the garden or trees or birds a drink
3. counting stars and fireflies as they emerge after sunset
4. making lemonade
5. guessing which of two ice cubes will melt first on a hot sidewalk
6. collecting shells or rocks or sticks in a box
7. getting up early to watch the sun rise
8. writing a letter to grandmamma
9. taking a trip to the library every other day
10. making homemade ice cream or popcorn or other fun snack

TIP FOR THE DAY: The idea is to find some simple activities your child or your friend with autism enjoys, then put one on the calendar each day. This helps decrease the agitation of waiting, and it helps everyone celebrate the current day rather than focusing on a future event.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Personal Travel Bag. Let your youngster pack his own small, zippered bag with items such as a small toy, familiar book, familiar video/DVD, or other personal favorites from home. To help ease transition into a new situation, include a small photo album with pictures of his room, pets, house, and the destination of your vacation.

Sleep-Tight Bag. To help encourage peaceful sleep in unfamiliar places, pack his pillow, sheet/blanket, and pajamas in a colorful stuff bag that is easy to identify and locate when you stop for the night.

YIKES! Kit. Keep an emergency kit handy that not only has first aid items and medications, but also some water bottles, snacks, a change of clothes, water-free hand cleaner, wet-wipes, and zip lock bags. Quart sized zip lock bags are good for a traveler who feel nauseous.

Explorer’s Bag. Prepare a small bag that includes a map, a disposable camera, binoculars, and a folder that can be filled with a “Destination Collection” of postcards and other souvenirs. Help your friend with autism remember take a picture of the group at every stop along the way – even roadside parks or places to eat – to record a visual history of the adventure.

Do you have some ideas for helping ease anxiety and behavior issues when traveling? Send them our way by clicking on the comments button or sending an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

Published on: Mar 28, 2008

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It seems to me that a great deal of time and energy is spent in attempts to extinguish repetitive behaviors and to diminish obsessive interests of individuals with autism. A junior high teacher commented recently that she wasn’t certain she agreed with IEP goals for diminishing rocking and hand posturing for one of her students. “When he makes a comment in class, he just gets excited,” said the teacher. “But his rocking and hand movements don’t seem to interfere with his ability to express his opinion and the other students don’t seem to be distracted, so I don’t see the value in bringing attention to the behaviors.”

A teenager with autism wrote that she felt obligated to hide her tendency to flap her hands and her rather intense interest in a certain topic in order to please her parents. “I think they are embarrassed that I am autistic,” she commented. “Or maybe these obsessions just irritate them.”

For whatever reason, obsessive interests and repetitive, ritualistic behaviors are inherent in autism. Under certain circumstances, there is certainly merit in addressing these issues. People might want to ask these questions when considering an unusual preoccupation or a persistent ritual.
1. Is it detrimental to the well-being of the individual with autism?
2. Does it threaten the safety of the individual or people around him/her?
3. Is it disruptive to others in the classroom, job site, or living situation?
4. Is it irritating to others who spend time with the person?
5. Is it in the best interest of the individual with autism to decrease the frequency or intensity of the behavior?
Depending on the answers to this question, target goals and strategies can be developed to address the issues in an appropriate manner. We welcome your opinion about this issue. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

Published on: Mar 20, 2008

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When we have a mortifying experience like this dad, we are tempted to just keep our youngster with autism at home so we aren’t embarrassed and so he doesn’t face arrest someday. This youngster is rather obsessed with having a symmetrical world, so he frequently reaches out to straighten objects, to put items in the correct place, and to adjust clothing that is out of place. His receptive language is somewhat limited, and he has a processing delay that makes responses to directions rather slow, even when paired with signs or cue cards or other cues. He does not seem able to generalize social stories nor to model the behavior issues. Although this youngster seems content and is usually compliant, it is difficult to break his train of thought once he notices something is out of place and works obsessively to straighten things out.

So, what can this dad do to prevent confrontations with strangers in the future? Of course, one option is to simply keep his son at home where he can stay out of trouble. But, that leads to isolation for both father and son. Here are few ideas.

(1) Out of reach. When I’m shopping with friends with autism who are compulsive touchers, I try to keep their hands occupied and to keep things out of reach. One strategy that works pretty well is to have them push the shopping cart. We stand side by side pushing the cart and I always monitor hands. I just quietly keep saying things like, “Thanks for keeping your hands to yourself” and “Good job keeping hands down.” If he begins to reach out to a person or an item, I gently put his hands back on the cart handle and say, “Remember, quiet hands.” If the person responds to visual cues, I take a picture of someone holding the handle of a shopping cart and put it on a cue card with the words “Quiet hands” at the bottom.

(2) Keep a card. Family members and others who take non-verbal folks with autism into public may want to keep some small business cards in their pocket for passing out to by-standers in the event of a meltdown or behavior incident in public. The card can say something like, “Thank you for your patience with my son. He is a wonderful young man who is non-verbal and diagnosed with autism. To find out more about autism, please check out this website: http://www.autism-society.org”

Have you ever encountered embarrassing situations in public? Send us your input and ideas for dealing with similar situations. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

Published on: May 8, 2008

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Dangerous Behaviors. The first priority, of course, would be behaviors that are dangerous to the individual with autism or those around him. For example, taking off a seat belt and opening the door of the moving car is must be addressed immediately. Other behaviors that require swift action are things like (1) attempting to drink household cleaners, (2) hurtful scratching, biting, or throwing, (3) clearing items off grocery store shelves, or (4) unexpectedly touching or hitting strangers.

Annoying behaviors. Some behaviors are irritating or socially inappropriate or unhealthy in the long run. For example, an individual with autism might loudly hum the same tune for hours, or tear pages from books, or refuse to eat anything except Hershey’s Chocolate bars. These irritating or inappropriate behaviors and others like them can be addressed at some point with a pro-active, easy-to-implement strategy that systematically decreases the inappropriate behavior and increases an appropriate, incompatible behavior.

Inherent Behaviors. Some behaviors are rather inherent in individuals with autism. For example, some of my friends with autism are rather insistent on wearing the same shirt every Thursday, or they have an emotional meltdown if I forget to sing our traditional closing song at the end of a music therapy session. In my humble opinion, we need to weigh carefully the merit of trying to eliminate or discourage behaviors that are inherent in autism.

Age-appropriate behaviors. As odd as it seems, we should actually celebrate when our teen with autism becomes defiant or wants to stay up late and sleep late. It is actually a good sign when our youngsters with autism act like other kids their age.

TIP FOR THE DAY. This is, of course, just a brief overview of different categories of behaviors we might encounter. Just keep in mind that it is unrealistic to assume we can control every single behavior in an attempt to shape “perfect” people. Behavior categories help us develop a realistic plan of action.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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For whatever reason, many people on the spectrum of autism do not naturally pick up on social cues and unwritten group rules. We can help our friends learn to cope with these challenging social issues, but, first, we need to be aware of the list of rules.

Stay in the area of the activity. Don’t just stand up in the middle of a conversation and wander off. Don’t sit too close to someone. Don’t sit far away from the group. Wait your turn. Don’t grab. Don’t eat all the food. Don’t eat food off other people’s plates. Don’t pick all the red jelly beans out of the dish. Keep your hands to yourself. Don’t touch things that belong to other people. Don’t bite or scratch or scream if someone touches your stuff. Don’t bite or scratch or scream if someone touches you or invades your space or sits in your chair. Don’t interrupt. Speak when spoken to. Don’t echo what other people say. Don’t talk too much. Don’t laugh too loud. Don’t cover your ears when others talk. Don’t recite the script of your favorite television show. Don’t tell someone they are getting bald Don’t flap your hands. Don’t rock and hum loudly. Don’t rearrange objects in the room. Don’t announce loudly, “I need to go pee-pee.” Don’t forget to say thank you. Follow the leader.

Whew! And that is just a partial list of the commonly understood group rules! But it is very important that we are aware of all these social cues and nuances so we can systematically shape group skills rather than constantly running interference and saying “don’t.” Taking purposeful, pro-active steps helps our friends with autism eventually enjoy hanging around with other people.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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I’ve known mom for many years, and realize she would never purposefully say anything to embarrass her daughter. And, in reality, this 6-year-old was probably not embarrassed by her mom’s mention in a public forum of her wearing diapers. The youngster is very bright, and has excellent expressive and receptive language, but she does not spontaneously interact with her classmates, and she does not seem to be particularly aware of the conversations or opinions of other people.

In spite of diligent, systematic efforts by parents, teachers, and behavior specialists, this 6-year-old is not yet toilet trained, so diapers are required at this point. The family has always used the phrase “Let’s go change your diaper” since she was a toddler. But the time is probably long past to change to a more age-appropriate phrase.

In a private conversation, Mom and I brainstormed about some alternative phrases. Our criteria were:
(1) To use more age-appropriate, discrete words.
(2) To clearly communicate that the youngster needed to go into the bathroom, take care of toileting, and change her diaper.
(3) To introduce a phrase that would be appropriate for teens and adults should the youngster resist toilet training for a number of years.

This family now says, “Hannah, let’s go freshen up.” Specifically stating her name captures her attention. “Let’s go” translates to “walk with me now.” Saying “freshen up” indicates they will go into the bathroom without mentioning in what ways she will freshen up. Some kids need more specific directions, so some families use phrases like, “Robert, walk with me now,” or “Samuel, please come with me now.”

TIP FOR THE DAY: The idea is to avoid the words diaper, bathroom, toilet, and other task-specific words. This is done not out of modesty, but out of respect for your friend with autism as well as the people around them. The ultimate goal is to help each youngster become independent in this area, but, meanwhile, we need to avoid words and phrases that bring attention to their need to wear a diaper.

Thank you for tuning in today. We hope you will tell people about FAQautism.com. People can subscribe to the daily podcasts or get a short daily e-mail of the text – all free and no obligation.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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One time a dad was shopping for groceries with his little son who was irritable, fussy, and loudly demanding candies and treats. The father seemed to have everything under control as he pushed the cart down the aisle, quietly staying, “Just be calm, Donald. We’re almost finished, Donald. It’ll be alright, Donald.”

A lady passed by their cart and commented to the dad about his patience and his calm response to his son’s disruptive behavior. Then the lady leaned down to the boy and said, “Your daddy is very patient, Donald. Hang in there, little Donald.”

The dad looked at the lady, interrupting her comments and saying, “Wait a minute. HIS name is Henry. MY name is Donald!”

This story has three morals for people interested in the well-being of individuals diagnosed with autism:
1. The story illustrates the futility of constantly nagging, of repeatedly saying “don’t” and “you’d better not” to our youngsters in public places.
2. Dad demonstrates the benefit for both dad and kid of responding positively and calmly in tough situations.
3. Dad readily confesses he is struggling with his patience, then deals with the situation and his impatience in a constructive manner.

TIP FOR THE DAY: We might do well to copy this dad by putting these three helpful tips in our pockets to pull out when we reach the end of our rope in a public place. Making reassuring comments to ourselves in the face of trying circumstances is one key to a calmer daily life.

We have some great resources to help all of us when we reach the ends of our ropes. Click on the Toolkit tab on our webiste for great resources; http://FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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I can feel my grandmother and my dentist cringing as I write these words. I know that bubblegum can get on clothes, ruin teeth, cause cavities, and make a mess. But you should see the look on the faces of some youngsters with autism when I unexpectedly blow a bubble. They often turn toward me, look at the bubble, then actually look into my eyes as if to ask, “where did that come from?” The personal connections, the spontaneous laughter when bubbles burst, and the requests (often non-verbal) for me to blow another bubble are priceless. Some tips for “bubblegum therapy.”

1. Bubblegum therapy can be a spectator sport. If your friend with autism is not able to chew bubblegum, you can do the chewing and bubble-blowing to encourage eye contact, personal interaction, attention, and laughter.

2. Bubblegum therapy can be an adventure. Chewing gum and blowing bubbles is quite a sensory experience for those folks with autism who are willing and able to chew bubblegum. Many of my friends who chew bubblegum are intrigued with the taste and texture, the sound of gum inside their mouths, the sound of bubbles popping, the stickiness when it pops on their faces, and other sensory aspects of bubblegum.

3. Bubblegum therapy changes the subject. When an intense youngster with autism is super-focused on an object or obsessing about a person or activity, bubblegum can interrupt that fixation.

4. Bubblegum encourages interaction and active participation. You can have races to see who can blow the first bubble, the largest bubble, the smallest bubble, or a bubble inside a bubble. Your friend can keep track of the length of time a bubble survives or the numbers of bubbles you can blow in one minute.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Bubblegum therapy is inexpensive and portable. Keep a pack of bubblegum in your “Plan B” kit. It is a great distraction when a person with autism is struggling with issues such as transition, long waits, noisy environments, long rides in a car or bus, or other frustrating circumstances.

Speaking of frustrating circumstances, most of us encounter challenges frequently throughout the day. Click on the Toolkit tab on our webiste http://FAQautism.com for some great resources to equip you for dealing with some of these difficult issues.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Decreasing dependence means different things for different people, but, in general terms, we are talking about teaching a person to complete daily living skills with less assistance, and shaping new routines necessary for self-reliance. To avoid being overwhelmed when approaching a gigantic, life-changing goal like this, break it down and patiently teach just one step at a time.

One strategy that works is the “52 Step Approach.” The basic concept of this creative approach is to purposefully teach one small task and to raise expectations for self-reliance just a notch each week. If your friend with autism takes just a tiny step forward each week, he will have taken 52 steps toward a higher level of independence by the end of just one year. Yipee!

So, for example, one of my friends with autism learned to gather up his dirty clothes into a basket one week, to put his clothes in the washer with little assistance the following week, and to transfer the clothes from the washer to the dryer the following week. Granted, this youngster still needed help with turning on the washer and dryer and with putting his clothes away, but he made great strides in just three weeks. This young teen also seemed to gain a sense of personal pride and seemed to portray some self-satisfaction from his work.

One word of caution: we tend to wait until our friends with autism are teens or young adults before we start teaching self-sufficiency. My experience over the past 40 years tells me that 2 years old is not too young to begin.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Don’t hesitate. Don’t wait until a perfect plan is in place. Start today. Just pick one small task, teach it to your friend with autism, then help them learn to complete that task with as little assistance and nagging as possible. Keep track of the tasks, then have a celebration in 52 short weeks.

Don’t hesitate click on the Toolkit tab on our website to learn more about practical, to-the-point, helpful Toolkits for family members, teachers, therapists, and others interested in the well-being of individuals with autism of all ages and levels of ability. http://FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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LEARNED DEPENDENCE. Sometimes we inadvertently jump in and take care of the details of daily living, so our friend with autism never learns to take care of their personal needs, or never learns the self-responsibility necessary for relatively independent living.

MOTIVATION. Some individuals with autism are rather oblivious to events and people around them, so they do not recognize the need for learning self-help skills or for being more independent. Others may not be self-starters, so they need guidance with every step.

DEVELOPMENTAL DELAYS. Yet other people with autism have deficits in motor skills, receptive language, or cognition – deficits that stand in the way of their comprehending instructions or of physically being able to complete a task.

SENSORY ISSUES. Extraordinary reactions to certain sounds, tastes, textures, smells, or other sensory input can keep a person from being able to, for example, go shopping or shower or shave.

TRANSITION. Difficulty in dealing with transition from one activity to another can stand in the way of a person becoming more self-reliant. Another common characteristic of autism, intolerance for change in routine, can also keep a person from being able to move through the day without a great deal of encouragement and supervision.

SEQUENCING. A relatively simple task can seem overwhelming to a person with autism who has difficulty discerning, remembering, and following the sequence of steps needed to complete that task.

Tune in to part 2 of this discussion about increasing independence to learn how to best approach this task of teaching a person to be less dependent.

And don’t forget to click on our website, http://FAQautism.com for information about our FAQautism.com Toolkits – resources designed for parents, family members, teachers, therapists, and others interested in maximizing the potential of their friends with autism.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Some graduates with autism will go to college or get a job and live independently. But others will need some assistance transitioning from a student to an adult. Consider these five helpful hints, particularly if your graduate is a young adult who will require on-going assistance and supervision in life.
1. DAILY ROUTINE. Most school programs are very structured and predictable, but many home situations are the opposite. Typical young adults would probably like a chance to just hang around and do nothing for days on end, but our friends with autism usually thrive on a predictable routine.
2. RESPITE. Some adults with autism are relatively independent, but are unable to stay alone at all or only for a short time. Even if families don’t anticipate needing it, they may want to consider advance planning for respite care.
3. EXERCISE. Sometimes we forget about physical health for our young adult friends with autism. Exercise helps boost spirits, decrease boredom, and improve overall health.
4. FRIENDS. After high school graduation, most young adults lose contact with long-time school friends. If they just sit around the house, recent graduates with autism can become very isolated.
5. LEISURE TIME. Although most teenagers wish they had more leisure time, free time quickly turns into boredom after high school graduation. Family members can help decrease boredom and increase contentment by planning in advance to help individuals with autism fill that leisure time productively.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Start considering these issues now, before graduation, to help young adults get a successful start on this new phase in their life. And please extend our best wishes – Cathy and Dwight of FAQautism.com send greetings to all 2010 graduates ☺

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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