FAQautism » Behavior Issues

Favorite Clothes

dwightk — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 04:01:19 +0000

At what point do favorite clothes become an obsession rather than a preference. A high-school friend who functions on the spectrum of autism reports that she only wears t-shirts featuring her favorite television star. She said, “I don’t know if it is an obsession, but I just feel like I can’t wear any other shirts to school.” Every Thursday, I visit with one of my friends with autism whose clothing preference might be considered obsessive. Although she has a closet full of clothes, she has worn the same outfit every single Thursday, no matter the weather, for over ten years. The outfit is getting rather tattered. Some parents have discovered that they only make matters worse when they try to get rid of favorite clothing. The issue can become serious when sweatshirts deteriorate into shreds or shoes no longer fit.

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Some individuals with autism like to wear only a certain style or color of clothing, or like our high-school super fan, clothing with one theme. With just a few exceptions, this type of preference does not pose any particular challenges as long as family members, teachers, bosses, and other folks don’t make it an issue.

The problem arises when a person literally wants to wear the same clothes every single day, or if they won’t give up clothes or shoes after years of wear. Even if a person wears the same size for years on end, clothes and shoes eventually wear out. So, what are some options that caregivers can implement if they face this dilemma?

1. Buy two of everything. If a person will only wear a certain navy sweatshirt or a certain pair of sneakers, then purchase two or three sets and rotate them every two or three days.
2. Forget style. Don’t worry about what other people think.
3. Avoid extreme styles. When children are young, try to avoid extreme styles so you don’t run the risk of your youngster latching onto that style for several decades. You probably don’t want your daughter still wearing frilly pink pinafores when she is twenty-three.
4. Tolerate the transition. When clothes and shoes literally fall apart, we have no choice but to replace them. We just need to be prepared to tolerate the meltdowns that sometimes occur when old favorites must be replaced.
5. Ease into change. We can sometimes ease the transition by introducing a new pair of shoes several months before replacement is critical. The shoes may be more familiar and acceptable if they’ve been visible in the closet for several months and if they have lost the “new shoe” smell. New clothing is usually more easily acceptable if it has been washed several times and has been in sight for several months. One adult friend with autism said that he still has an extreme aversion to shopping for new clothes, so it helps him if a family member shops for clothes and runs them through the washer several times before putting them in his closet.
6. Keep souvenirs. If the person simply will not part with old favorites, put outgrown shoes or tattered pants in a zip lock bag as a souvenir. You can make a throw pillow out of patches of favorite shirts. Take a snapshot of your youngster wearing their old favorites.

We welcome your stories about favorite clothing and ideas for dealing with this potentially challenging issue. Just click on the comment button or send us an e-mail – talk@FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

Published on: Mar 7, 2008

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Be Quiet

dwightk — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:01:58 +0000

What exactly do we mean when we tell someone to be quiet? Do we mean that they must be totally silent, making not a tiny sound? When we say, “be quiet,” do we mean to talk softly so they don’t interrupt a conversation? Or do we say “be quiet” just when we get irritated or have a headache? Sometimes our friends with autism interpret phrases very literally, so it would probably help them if we would tell them exactly what we mean when we say, “be quiet.”

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In reality, there are different tiers of loudness and quietness in our lives. Most of the time, we can tolerate a bit of talking and other noise at home, at school, and in the community. Sometimes we simply need people to talk softly when we are listening to the news or conversing with other people. In a few select situations, it is necessary for people to be very quiet and to make very few, if any, sounds. For example, testing situations at school usually require total silence. Because some people with autism will not pick up on social cues in different settings, they may need help learning what levels of noise are appropriate for different situations.

It is more helpful to specifically describe what level of conversation is required rather than just generally saying, “be quiet.” For example, if people just need to lower the volume a bit, we can say something like, “Please talk softly while I talk on the telephone.” On the other hand, if we are at a concert or other event that requires total silence, we can say, “Please listen very quietly. Make no sounds until we stand up at the end of the concert. No sounds, please.”

We must, of course, make certain our expectations are reasonable. If a friend with autism murmurs or hums repetitively, it is unreasonable to expect them to be totally quiet. The same is true with individuals with autism who tend to repeat phrases or to occasionally shout out or make random sounds. Under those circumstances, we cannot expect a person to be totally silent for an extended period of time, so we need to either avoid those situations or to be prepared to tolerate some verbalizations and sounds.

Keep in mind that we only make matters worse by reacting to sounds with a loud “shhhhh.” It is usually better to develop a quiet, unobtrusive system for reminding folks to be quiet. For example, I use a small card printed with the words, “Quiet, please” or a picture symbol of a person signing “quiet” to use as a reminder during a sermon at church or while at plays or concerts. Some teachers and parents use the “red, yellow, green” symbols of a traffic light to help children know if they can make noises freely (green), or if they should keep the noise level down (yellow), or if they should be totally silent (red).

We welcome your ideas for helping communicate different levels of loudness. Just click on the comments button or send us an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

Published on: Jun 23, 2010

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Duct Tape Magic

dwightk — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 04:01:39 +0000

One of our regular FAQautism.com followers – a mom extraordinaire – sent a message with lots of good ideas for keeping life on track for her daughter. And for the rest of the family. Among other things, she recommended keeping a roll of duct tape handy. Duct tape? Why duct tape?

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1. This mom had a great idea for using duct tape to alleviate anxiety for her daughter when using a public restroom. Mom wrote, “Almost all the toilets have electric eye flusher systems – and the anxiety of it flushing when she wasn’t “ready” made her a wreck and me too – so I would tape over the electric eye while she was in the stall & then remove it when she was done.”

2. This mom also recommended duct tape for emergency repairs. If something breaks, you can fix it quickly and without fanfare. And I’m convinced duct tape has magic properties, i.e. somehow broken items stay together until you can get home and get a “real” repair job done.

3. Over the years, I’ve noticed the therapeutic qualities of duct tape. If one of my friends with autism gets anxious or frustrated, I stick a small piece of duct tape on the knee of their jeans or tennis shoes or even the palms of their hands. Repetitively sticking and unsticking the duct tape often distracts my friend and diffuses their distress.

TIP FOR THE DAY: I’ve noticed that duct tape comes in colors now, but, for some reason, I still like the traditional silver color. I keep a small roll in a ziplock bag with a small pair of scissors to get the tape going so I can tear off a bit easily.

Duct tape is handy, and so are our new FAQautism.com Toolkits. Click on the Toolkit tab on our website to check out these great resources; http://FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Transition to New School

dwightk — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 04:01:39 +0000

Even if youngsters with autism get along pretty well in school, the transition to a new school can be challenging. For example, when moving from elementary to middle school, students are expected to listen to and remember about various procedures and rules given to an assembly of the whole student body on the first day of school. They will hear dozens of rules about recess, procedures for dressing out in gym class, expected behavior in the hallways, tips for organizing their schedule and locker and backpack, steps to follow in an emergency drill, and on and on. Yikes! How can we help with transition to a new school?

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At least a week before school starts, parents of a youngster with autism who is attending a different school this fall might want to ask a counselor or other staff member to give their child an informal, low-key, personalized “welcome tour” helping them learn the location of their book locker and gym locker and classes. It would be good to help them pre-plan their daily route so they can get from class to class on time with all the necessary supplies and books.

Purposeful, casual, one-to-one instruction about some of the school traditions, procedures, and expected behaviors would certainly make transition MUCH smoother for individuals with autism, many of whom are visual learners and simply may not process all the verbal instructions given during orientation in a large all-school assembly.

So, before the first day of school, make arrangements for a “welcome tour” to help students with autism learn about (1) emergency drills and procedures, (2) expected behavior during morning announcements, (3) location of restrooms, (4) expected behavior in the hallways between classes and during classes (5) procedure for riding the school bus, (6) lunchroom procedures, (7) expected behavior during pep rally and other group gatherings, (8) procedures for dressing out in gym class, and (9) who to contact with questions or problems. I encourage parents to tag along if appropriate so they can help remind their youngster of the new routines if needed.

We welcome your input. Share challenges and ideas based on your experiences or intuition. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

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School Glitches

dwightk — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 04:01:12 +0000

Many of my friends with autism are a bit lost during the first few weeks in a new school. Sometimes we assume that all students are soaking in the flood of information – school traditions, procedures, rules, and routines – presented to youngsters in an assembly on the first day of school.

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I remember one young lady who did not understand the implications of a “Traditions Rally” on the first day of high school. In keeping with one of the long-standing school traditions, everyone walked around the school seal on the floor in the lobby in memory of fallen soldiers from their high school. Needless to say, everyone was horrified the next morning when they saw this young freshman standing in the middle of the school seal the next day, holding her back pack, and looking up at the sky light in the dome high above the seal.

This attentive young lady was an honor student with normal receptive language and an excellent memory. But she was missing the executive function required to translate the information about the memorial seal from a hypothetical discussion to an expected behavior. Fortunately, she didn’t pick up on the disapproval of her peers, and a teacher quietly helped her understand that she needed to stand outside the decorated area on the floor, but that could have easily turned into a disaster.

Some elementary schools use a “traffic light” system to monitor noise in the lunchrooms. When the light is green, people are free to talk to their neighbors. A yellow light is a warning to talk softly, and a red light is a signal for complete silence. Because many youngsters with autism think in concrete terms, their literal interpretation of the traffic light makes it difficult to generalize the rules from car traffic to the noise level in the cafeteria.

A young teen was embarrassed when she stood up in gym class. The coach had said, “All the boys, pay attention. You need to stand up.” The female student focused on the coach’s words when he said, “pay attention” and “stand up,” so she missed that key phrase, “all the boys.”

Miscommunication results when we assume youngsters know the meaning of symbolic words. For example, some of my young friends with autism have taken the phrase “moment of silence” literally during the morning announcements, leading to problems with talking during that very long “moment.”

One of my pre-teen friends with autism took the principal’s instructions very literally when she said, “Everyone will sit with their homeroom during lunch.” So, after getting his lunch tray, the young student walked to his homeroom to eat! ☺

We hope you will share your experiences about communication glitches at school, home, or work. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

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Back to School Blues

dwightk — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 04:01:30 +0000

Some folks just don’t like change. Some folks with autism HATE change! As summer comes to an end, and the first day of school approaches, some students with autism respond with temper outbursts, poor sleeping habits, and stubborn refusal to follow directions. Even youngsters who seem to like school struggle with the transition. What can we do about the “Back to School Blues?”

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Because of individual differences, it is difficult to come up with a “one-size-fits-all” strategy for building a smooth bridge between summer and the school year. But several basic strategies have helped the process for lots of folks over the years.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE DIFFICULTY. If we recognize and accept that fact that resistance to change is a natural result of autism, we can take positive, pro-active steps to help our youngsters make a smooth transition from summer to school. The whole process can be less stressful if family members, teachers, and others accept the fact that transition and change are difficult for many individuals with autism. That doesn’t mean that we should ignore inappropriate and troublesome behavior, but it does mean that we can adopt an attitude of helping our friend on their journey rather than getting frustrated with their tantrums and stubbornness.

INTRODUCE CHANGE GRADUALLY. Several weeks before school starts, we can gradually begin introducing structure to the evening routine and to the morning routine. We can gradually begin waking our youngster up closer and closer to the time they will need to rise once school starts.

MAKE TRANSITION AN ADVENTURE. Purchase a calendar that can be used to keep track of the last weeks before school starts. Your youngster with autism can mark off each day in a countdown to school, and he can write down “back-to-school events” such as shopping for school supplies and Meet the Teacher night. Your family can have a “Last Day of Summer” party that includes swimming, carving a watermelon, churning ice cream, or other favorite summer activities. Granted, a low-key approach is better for some individuals with autism who would be overwhelmed with all this excitement, but others get distracted with the celebrations, making back-to-school blues evaporate.

We welcome your input. Share challenges and ideas based on your experiences or intuition. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

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Pre-School Chaos

dwightk — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 04:01:18 +0000

More and more pre-school teachers are encountering youngsters diagnosed with autism in their classrooms. From the perspective of a child with autism, the group pre-school experience can seem chaotic, even under the leadership of the most extraordinary teacher. The youngster is having to process all the sounds, songs, colorful decorations, activities, people, and events swirling around them. Let’s take a look at some of the challenges encountered by little ones in a pre-school classroom.

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TRANSITION. Our friends tend to focus on one activity and to resist changing to a new activity. Even when heading for a favorite activity, individuals with autism struggle with transition. Inflexibility and transition issues often lead to severe emotional meltdowns, resulting in pre-schoolers with autism being viewed as difficult, stubborn, and disruptive.
BOUNDARIES. Many early childhood group activities are on the floor with no visible boundaries. The lack of a defined sitting space leads most pre-schoolers to lie on their backs, lean on their neighbors, and kick their feet. These and other wiggly, squirmy actions interfere with their participation in the group. The squirmy issue is often magnified with a child with autism.
CHANGE OF RULES. During free time and play time, pre-schoolers are encouraged to run and shout and throw balls and talk to their friends. All of a sudden, the rules change when they come to circle time. Even very cooperative, compliant kids have trouble sorting out different rules for different places in the same classroom.
FOCUS. The teacher must be somewhat of an entertainer in order to capture and hold the attention of the students during group time. Circle time usually consists of singing songs, using puppets, telling stories, and displaying pictures and interesting objects. When teaching youngsters with autism, there is a fine line between these two principles: (1) making things interesting enough to capture and maintain attention, and (2) making things too bright and too noisy and too fast, leading to sensory overload.
PARTICIPATION. Social interaction, receptive language, expressive language, and reciprocal communication are all skills necessary for successful participation in most group activities. ALL of these areas are inherently challenging for individuals with autism.

Given these factors, it is easy to see how a youngster with autism might perceive a pre-school classroom as chaotic. lWe invite you to share your observations and experiences. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

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Ready for Pre-School

dwightk — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 04:01:29 +0000

At the tender young age of three, youngsters with autism often embark on an exciting and challenging adventure: pre-school. By its very nature, pre-school requires youngsters to function in three different spheres – group time, free time, and transition from one to another. Each sphere requires different skills, many of which are foreign to little ones diagnosed with autism.

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CIRCLE TIME. Teacher-directed group activities require youngsters to come to the area of the activity and to stay in the area of the activity. Participation requires a child to pay attention to the teacher’s words and actions as well as multiple visual and social cues. Circle Time activities also call for some measure of impulse control – waiting for the teacher, taking turns, keeping hands to self, following directions, and tolerating lots of sounds, sights, and people.

FREE TIME. Many children love recess, but sometimes our friends with autism really struggle with the lack of structure inherent in free-time play. Free time requires them to make decisions about filling that time, to share space and objects with other kids, to play cooperatively or at least tolerate the presence of other kids, and to play independently with minimal supervision and direction from adults. To some extent, the popular technique of having independent play centers or independent learning centers in early childhood classrooms can raise some of the same challenges for youngsters with autism.

TRANSITION. Dealing with the transition between self-directed and teacher-directed activities is a fine art that requires some expertise. A youngster needs to learn to stop what they are doing and come when called, to stand and wait in line, to follow classroom routines without much supervision, to deal with multiple directions, to follow the social cues of their fellow students and of their teachers, and to focus on a task and complete it with minimal assistance.

Yikes! This list makes it sound more challenging to start pre-school than to start graduate school! We will discuss some fun and effective ways to help your pre-schooler with autism learn these classroom survival skills in upcoming podcasts. Meanwhile, just relax and remember that pre-school can be a great adventure in spite of some rocky paths and landslides. A wise person once said, “If a mountain were smooth, you couldn’t climb it.”

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Amusement Parks and Autism

dwightk — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:01:24 +0000

Several friends with autism and their families have gone to amusement parks over the summer. The experiences have been different for all involved, so we are taking a few minutes to look at some challenges that may arise when visiting a large amusement park.

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1. Timing. Most large amusement parks such as Six Flags, Sea World, Disney World, and others get more crowded in the afternoons and early evening. If your friend with autism can tolerate large crowds and waiting in line, then you can go anytime. If not, you need to find the least crowded time. Also keep in mind that some of our friends with autism are “morning people,” and some are not. In order to give all the best experience, you need to plan the timing carefully.

2. Logistics. Some individuals with autism have special diets or medical needs, or need assistance with toileting. If so, plan in advance for taking care of those individual needs without too much fanfare. For example, if you are a mom and your 25-year-old son with autism needs a bit of assistance with bathroom issues, you need to locate the family restrooms so you can help him without making a scene.

3. Personal preferences. Remember that not everyone loves to ride the roller coaster and not everyone wants to get splashed by dolphins. It is hard to find the balance between encouraging a person to try something new and forcing them into a situation that makes them feel very uncomfortable. And some of our friends with autism are not able to articulate that well. So we need to watch closely – supporting and encouraging people as they try something new while at the same time, keeping a eye out for signs of serious discomfort and respecting their preferences. I’ve heard frustrated parents say things like, “We paid a lot of money for the tickets, so we aren’t going to just sit under this tree watching the people walk by.” But we need to know in advance that our friend may literally not be interested in the excitement, or that they really do prefer watching shows to taking wild rides.

TIP FOR THE DAY: I encourage introducing our friends with autism to new experiences and exciting adventures while at the same time respecting their preferences, no matter how offbeat they seem.

And it is always wise to take time to explore new approaches for addressing challenging issues that can arise in the lives of our friends with autism. Click on the Toolkit tab on our website for great resources; http://FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Cooking Over a Campfire

dwightk — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 04:01:38 +0000

Over the years, many of my friends of all ages with autism have been intrigued with the process of cooking over a fire. Even people who have never shown much interest in eating have taken bites of food they have helped prepare over the colorful glowing embers and dancing flames.

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Take a look at our podcast, “Summer Campfires” for some tips about building a fire. Then try some of the recipes below, adapting them as needed for special dietary restrictions and very selective eaters.

S’mores. It is always fun to give your friend with autism a chance to help out by making a list of items needed for s’mores and shopping for them at the store – with your assistance only as needed. So, for example, if he is able to do so, let him find the ingredients in the grocery store without your help. Traditional s’mores use graham crackers, Hershey chocolate bars, and marshmallows. You can also try a less messy version by using the chocolate flavored graham crackers and marshmallows.

Bread on a Stick. Just stretch a canned butter biscuit into a long thin shape and spiral it around the end of a long stick. Wait until the flames have died down into glowing coals and slowly “bake” the biscuit over the fire, turning the stick slowly until your Bread on a Stick is golden on all sides. Slip it off the stick, let it cool a few minutes, then enjoy this delicious treat. I’ve seen some of my rather impatient friends with autism cook their bread very patiently.

Tip for the day. Many different snacks can be adapted for the campfire without too much special equipment. No need to cook the whole meal over the fire – just enjoy simple foods with one or two aspects cooked on the fire. It is an intriguing process for all. Enjoy!

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Summer Campfire

dwightk — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 04:01:57 +0000

Gathering around a campfire is a traditional summertime experience that can be enjoyed by people of all ages and interests. There are few experiences more enjoyable than watching the flames of a campfire leap up from the logs, cooking s’mores with family and friends, singing some silly songs, then watching the embers glow and fade. Let us look at some ideas based on long experience to help make the campfire a safe, enjoyable, stress-free experience for all.

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One of the keys to helping make campfires – or any experience, for that matter – is for individuals with special needs to participate actively in the preparation. By helping with advance preparations for a campfire, your friend can enjoy anticipating the upcoming event while at the same time learning first hand about fire safety, a critical bit of knowledge.

So, for example, your friend with autism could collect sticks to use in the fire or gather rocks to make the fire ring. She could help clear leaves and debris from around the fire ring, and help bring out the lawn chairs or drag up logs for people to sit on outside the fire ring. She can help as she is able to fill the water bucket, stretch the water hose to the site, and put a shovel close to the fire.

Other advance preparations include inviting family and friends to participate, plan the snack menu, pick some fun campfire songs, and welcome people as they arrive.

TIP FOR THE DAY: The key ingredients to a successful campfire are these: (1) SAFETY FIRST, and (2) encouraging your friend with autism to be actively involved in all aspects of the preparation.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Swimming Pools, Part 2

dwightk — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 04:01:38 +0000

In part 1 of our discussions about swimming pools, we looked at one example of water safety rules a family implements every time their youngster with autism goes swimming. Safety is, of course, the first consideration when it comes to our friends with autism and water. In part 2 of this discussion, we will take a brief look at other issues related to swimming and water activities.

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1. PROBLEMS WITH A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL. For a variety of reasons, even the most avid swimmer with autism may not be able to swim in a public pool. Among other things, a person with autism may not be able to tolerate crowds or may not follow the rules and comply with the lifeguard. Several of my friends with autism are overly obsessed with rules, so they become very agitated when another person at the pool doesn’t follow the rules immediately and to the “letter of the law.” Some individuals with autism are oblivious to other people or to danger, so they may swim under the diving board or may jump in the water right on top of another swimmer. These issues, along with others, make swimming in a public pool very challenging.

2. ALTERNATIVES TO A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL. Since some youngsters with autism simply cannot tolerate swimming in a public pool, or because their public pool behavior or interaction with people in public places is inappropriate or unsafe, let us look at some other fun water activities.

+ Water sprinkler. The traditional water hose has expanded to some very sophisticated water sprinklers that many of my friends of all ages with autism find intriguing. One young adult loves to sit in a lawn chair under a water sprinkler that shoots randomly in all directions. Another loves the “on and off” rhythm of a traditional lawn sprinkler that sways back and forth.

+ Backyard pool. It may be that a backyard pool is the best solution if a public pool is not an option. One of my friends will not wear a swim suit, but insists on wearing sweats for swimming. That wouldn’t work in a public pool with deep water, but is fine for a backyard pool that is only waist deep. And sunburn isn’t a problem ☺

+ Year-round swimming. One of my buddies with autism who is typically very agitated with life in general, is just enthralled with swimming, finding is very relaxing. His parents have installed an above ground heated pool in their garage so he can swim all year long! Another parent fills up the bathtub in the winter and encourages her water-loving daughter to put on her swimsuit so she can play in the “winter swimming pool.”

TIP FOR THE DAY: The idea to think out of the box. With careful planning we can help our friends with autism enjoy swimming and other water activities while minimizing challenging behaviors and other difficult issues. Hope you will click on our website http://FAQautism.com to find hundreds more helpful tips and resources.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Swimming Pools, part 1

dwightk — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 04:01:39 +0000

Just as with more typical kids, some youngsters with autism love the water. Let’s take a look at some creative ideas and some serious factors related to autism and water. First and foremost, we must consider water safety.

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Whether in a swimming pool, lake, river, or even a kiddy pool, our first obligation to our friends with autism is water safety. Except in rare incidences, we simply must assume that a teen or adult with autism needs supervision around water.

No one should swim alone, of course, but sometimes individuals with autism, even those who are very bright and thoughtful, simply do not comprehend the concept of danger. While we should not make our friends fearful of water, we need to teach and enforce basic water safety. Warnings like “You’d better not do that or you could get hurt” or “If you go in the deep water, you might drown” have little meaning to many individuals with autism and will not deter potentially dangerous behavior.

Rather than showering our friends with dire warnings and constant nagging about water safety, it might work better to develop a “Water Safety Routine” that you follow every single time you go swimming, boating, or even wading in a stream that may have an unexpected drop-off or other unseen danger. Let’s take a look at a water safety routine one family developed for their 10-year-old with autism who is fearless and rather obsessed with water.
Step 1: The family decided against a pool in the yard since 24/7 supervision is impossible. They have also quietly contacted families in the neighborhood who do have pools, politely telling them of their son’s autism and his obsession with water, and requesting they fence the pools and keep the gates locked.
Step 2: Because swimming is their son’s primary interest, the family takes him swimming as often as possible.
Step 3: Family pool rules are strictly reinforced for this youngster. He is reminded before going swimming and upon arrival at the pool to “Stop, look, and listen.” “Stop” means to freeze on the side of the pool. “Look” means to look at his personalized life-guard and wait for a nod to get in the water. “Listen” means to stop and look if he hears a certain whistle sound, waiting to see what his personal lifeguard has to say, then to follow that instruction right away. If he breaks any of the rules, his swimming time is immediately over.

This safety routine, of course, will not work for everyone, but it is an example of a consistent procedure that, over time, helps a youngster anticipate the hard and fast rules so he can relax and enjoy swimming to his heart’s content.

In part 2 of our swimming pools podcast, we will look at some alternatives to public pools and some ideas for moderating a perseverative person’s obsession with water. Tune in tomorrow for Swimming Pools, Part 2.

And, don’t forget to click on the Toolkit tab on our website – http://FAQautism.com – to find some great resources to help us systematically address other challenges that arise as a result of autism.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Summer Isn’t Over

dwightk — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 04:01:01 +0000

During the first week of August, it seems that the first day of school is the focal point of conversations and activities for nearly everyone in my corner of the world. But many of my friends with autism live in the present moment, so they are not at all interested in the future. And those who do get caught up in “first day of school” fever can become obsessed with the event or agitated with the long wait. I encourage families of school-aged youngsters with autism to make the most of today rather than focusing on an event that is several weeks away.

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One strategy for making the most of each day is to plan a “Summer Special” – an event that a youngster can look forward to each day in August. This can be something very simple, a fun activity that celebrates summertime. For example, you could add any one of these activities on a calendar each day in August:
1. playing in the water sprinkler
2. giving the garden or trees or birds a drink
3. counting stars and fireflies as they emerge after sunset
4. making lemonade
5. guessing which of two ice cubes will melt first on a hot sidewalk
6. collecting shells or rocks or sticks in a box
7. getting up early to watch the sun rise
8. writing a letter to grandmamma
9. taking a trip to the library every other day
10. making homemade ice cream or popcorn or other fun snack

TIP FOR THE DAY: The idea is to find some simple activities your child or your friend with autism enjoys, then put one on the calendar each day. This helps decrease the agitation of waiting, and it helps everyone celebrate the current day rather than focusing on a future event.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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Come Join Us

dwightk — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 04:01:23 +0000

For a variety of reasons, children with autism are often reluctant to participate in group activities, and may resist joining “circle time” in an early childhood classroom, a play group, Sunday School class, or other setting. Short of picking them up and physically moving them to the circle, how can we encourage a youngster to come join the fun?

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There are many reasons why a child does not readily join group activities. He may not hear the direction or may not understand what it means. He may not want to leave what he is doing or he may have an aversion to group activities. He may be distracted by noises or activity in the room or he may have difficulty transitioning from one place in the room to another.

No matter the reason for failure to move to a group activity with the other kids, it is still to the child’s advantage to learn to follow directions to gather in circle time, to tolerate groups of kids and adults, and to participate in group activities.

One of the most effective strategies for helping a youngster tolerate groups is the “Sneak-In Strategy.” Especially when a child strongly resists change and transition, it helps to plan for a seamless transition from a preferred activity, gradually inserting some components of circle time into his daily routine.
(1) Rather than making a big production of putting away an independent play activity and “officially” beginning circle time, consider allowing the youngster to stay in the learning center where he is working. This helps alleviate his transition anxieties (an inherent characteristic of autism), and you avoid getting into a power play about “moving to circle time.”
(2) Consider allowing him to stay put while you gradually introduce the calendar, weather, and other familiar circle time songs and activities. After 5 minutes of circle time activities, allow the youngster to continue with the previous activity.
(3)) Follow the same routine and sing the same songs every day so he becomes familiar with the circle time activities. Gradually introduce new activities and ease one or two students into the area. But proceed slowly and calmly to avoid raising red flags that magnify his transition anxiety, his aversion to group activities, or other issues related to his autism. Eventually he will probably be able to tolerate – and even enjoy – circle time with his new-found friends.

Each student, of course, has different needs, but this is one example of a strategy to help ease a pre-schooler diagnosed with autism into small group activities. He may adapt to the change in a week or two, or it may take years. No matter the time frame, patient work in this area pays rich rewards that will most likely significantly impact his social skills, communication skills, and tolerance for transition and change.

Published on: May 16, 2008

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Constant Nagging

dwightk — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 04:01:35 +0000

Although we may have the best intentions, we can certainly fall into the trap of constantly nagging our family members or students with autism. It can be helpful to take an inventory of the words we speak every day and to move toward gentle nudging rather than constant nagging.

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At the risk of sounding judgmental, I would venture to say that most adults could be diagnosed with a condition called “nag-itis.” If we could review a video of our actions every day, we would probably find that we tend to nag children and teens, and that we jump on a behavior almost before it occurs.

We can fall into the habit of constantly reminding kids to put things away, drink their milk, feed the dog, put away their backpack, pick up dropped items, put their clothes in the laundry, clean their plate, put away their toys, brush their teeth, flush the toilet, and use a tissue rather than picking their nose.

I hear adults spurting out reminders to say goodbye or to say thank you, often before a youngster has had a chance to initiate greetings or thanks on their own. We can also spend a great deal of time and energy reprimanding youngsters, jumping on every move they make and telling them what we want them to do or what we don’t want them to do. Then we keep talking about their missteps long after the deed.

Because our nagging tends goes right over the top of a child’s head, we might want to change our habits. When a youngster really needs a reminder, consider following these steps: (1) capture their attention, (2) state firmly and specifically what needs to happen, and (3) give them plenty of time to process the information and follow the direction. Use visual reminders like pointing, signs, or picture cues instead of words when giving the direction and for silent reminders.

It is usually best to avoid constant nagging when talking to children with autism. Our goal isn’t to raise perfect kids – just to give them nudges every single day toward being pleasant, cooperative, friendly, content people.

Published on: May 15, 2008

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Outside Adventures

dwightk — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 04:01:14 +0000

Families, teachers, and others who care about the well-being of individuals with autism frequently ask for ideas to help prevent isolation. Challenges like loud outbursts, aggressive behaviors, repetitive mannerisms, and meltdowns can make folks hesitate to get out in public. Sometimes it is just easier to just stay at home to keep the peace. The downside to that decision is isolation for our friends with autism as well as for folks in their care network. One way to decrease seclusion and detachment from society is to get outside!

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Wide open spaces allow for loud noises and provide a safe cover of anonymity for our friends who may unusual mannerisms. Getting outside also impacts physical health and emotional well-being. So, get up and get going!

1. Take a Trek. Walk or bike in the park, around the block, or just to the end of the driveway.
2. Around the House. Put a swing in the backyard or on the front porch. Go outside every day to feed the dog, put water in the birdbath, pick a tomato out of the garden, or pick up the newspaper. Lie on a blanket in the back yard to look at clouds or the stars.
3. Easy Sports. Play informal rounds of kickball, t-ball, tether ball or badminton. Shoot some hoops. Toss some horseshoes. Set up an outdoor obstacle course or play follow the leader.
4. In the Park. Go fly a kite. Enjoy an outdoor picnic or snack. Look through binoculars for birds or trees or cars driving by. Pick up litter.
5. Pick Your Own. Locate a local apple orchard, strawberry patch, or pecan orchard that allows “Pick Your Own” harvesting.
6. Explore. Take a trip to the zoo, to outdoor garden centers, to metropolitan areas, to drive-through nature centers, to state parks, to outdoor historical areas, or to a roadside park looking across miles of landscape.
7. Outdoor events. If your friend can tolerate anonymous crowds, take time to enjoy car shows, outdoor flea markets, outdoor arts festivals, county fairs, metropolitan parks or outdoor exhibits, rides on the metro, parades, firework displays, air shows, car races, and other events where folks can walk around freely.
8. Find water. One of the most universally enjoyable environments for all human beings is water – beach, lake, river, pool.

Be creative. Get outside. Don’t hesitate. Just do it. And send us your ideas. Just click on the comments button or send a message to talk@FAQautism.com

Published on: May 5, 2008

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Pack a Bag

dwightk — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:01:46 +0000

Before heading out for a spring break trip or a weekend at Grandma’s house, take a look at some of these ideas for personalized travel bags. These tried-and-true ideas have helped decrease travel anxiety for individuals with autism and their families, so you might want to give them a try.

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Personal Travel Bag. Let your youngster pack his own small, zippered bag with items such as a small toy, familiar book, familiar video/DVD, or other personal favorites from home. To help ease transition into a new situation, include a small photo album with pictures of his room, pets, house, and the destination of your vacation.

Sleep-Tight Bag. To help encourage peaceful sleep in unfamiliar places, pack his pillow, sheet/blanket, and pajamas in a colorful stuff bag that is easy to identify and locate when you stop for the night.

YIKES! Kit. Keep an emergency kit handy that not only has first aid items and medications, but also some water bottles, snacks, a change of clothes, water-free hand cleaner, wet-wipes, and zip lock bags. Quart sized zip lock bags are good for a traveler who feel nauseous.

Explorer’s Bag. Prepare a small bag that includes a map, a disposable camera, binoculars, and a folder that can be filled with a “Destination Collection” of postcards and other souvenirs. Help your friend with autism remember take a picture of the group at every stop along the way – even roadside parks or places to eat – to record a visual history of the adventure.

Do you have some ideas for helping ease anxiety and behavior issues when traveling? Send them our way by clicking on the comments button or sending an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com

Published on: Mar 28, 2008

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Obsessing About Obsessions

dwightk — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 04:01:01 +0000

Flapping hands. Rocking. Ehoing phrases or words. Repeating sequences of numbers or letters. Humming. Murmuring. Spinning objects. Playing with threads or strings. Tapping or slapping objects. Chewing on hair or fingernails. Talking about one person or topic repetitively. Insisting on the same food or clothing or daily routine. These are among the long list of obsessions characteristic of individuals with autism. What is the most productive way to deal with obsessions? At what point do we become obsessed with obsessions of our friends with autism?

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It seems to me that a great deal of time and energy is spent in attempts to extinguish repetitive behaviors and to diminish obsessive interests of individuals with autism. A junior high teacher commented recently that she wasn’t certain she agreed with IEP goals for diminishing rocking and hand posturing for one of her students. “When he makes a comment in class, he just gets excited,” said the teacher. “But his rocking and hand movements don’t seem to interfere with his ability to express his opinion and the other students don’t seem to be distracted, so I don’t see the value in bringing attention to the behaviors.”

A teenager with autism wrote that she felt obligated to hide her tendency to flap her hands and her rather intense interest in a certain topic in order to please her parents. “I think they are embarrassed that I am autistic,” she commented. “Or maybe these obsessions just irritate them.”

For whatever reason, obsessive interests and repetitive, ritualistic behaviors are inherent in autism. Under certain circumstances, there is certainly merit in addressing these issues. People might want to ask these questions when considering an unusual preoccupation or a persistent ritual.
1. Is it detrimental to the well-being of the individual with autism?
2. Does it threaten the safety of the individual or people around him/her?
3. Is it disruptive to others in the classroom, job site, or living situation?
4. Is it irritating to others who spend time with the person?
5. Is it in the best interest of the individual with autism to decrease the frequency or intensity of the behavior?
Depending on the answers to this question, target goals and strategies can be developed to address the issues in an appropriate manner. We welcome your opinion about this issue. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com

Published on: Mar 20, 2008

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Touching Strangers

dwightk — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:01:37 +0000

For whatever reason, many of my friends with autism impulsively touch other people, including strangers. For example, the dad of a teenager with autism was horrified recently when his son reached out to straighten the bottom of the jacket of a stranger in the grocery store. When the gentleman felt someone’s hand in an inappropriate spot, he turned around abruptly and spoke curtly to the youngster. The gentleman had no way of knowing, of course, that the tall teenager was non-verbal and diagnosed with autism. The dad just froze and was unable to think of anything to say.

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When we have a mortifying experience like this dad, we are tempted to just keep our youngster with autism at home so we aren’t embarrassed and so he doesn’t face arrest someday. This youngster is rather obsessed with having a symmetrical world, so he frequently reaches out to straighten objects, to put items in the correct place, and to adjust clothing that is out of place. His receptive language is somewhat limited, and he has a processing delay that makes responses to directions rather slow, even when paired with signs or cue cards or other cues. He does not seem able to generalize social stories nor to model the behavior issues. Although this youngster seems content and is usually compliant, it is difficult to break his train of thought once he notices something is out of place and works obsessively to straighten things out.

So, what can this dad do to prevent confrontations with strangers in the future? Of course, one option is to simply keep his son at home where he can stay out of trouble. But, that leads to isolation for both father and son. Here are few ideas.

(1) Out of reach. When I’m shopping with friends with autism who are compulsive touchers, I try to keep their hands occupied and to keep things out of reach. One strategy that works pretty well is to have them push the shopping cart. We stand side by side pushing the cart and I always monitor hands. I just quietly keep saying things like, “Thanks for keeping your hands to yourself” and “Good job keeping hands down.” If he begins to reach out to a person or an item, I gently put his hands back on the cart handle and say, “Remember, quiet hands.” If the person responds to visual cues, I take a picture of someone holding the handle of a shopping cart and put it on a cue card with the words “Quiet hands” at the bottom.

(2) Keep a card. Family members and others who take non-verbal folks with autism into public may want to keep some small business cards in their pocket for passing out to by-standers in the event of a meltdown or behavior incident in public. The card can say something like, “Thank you for your patience with my son. He is a wonderful young man who is non-verbal and diagnosed with autism. To find out more about autism, please check out this website: http://www.autism-society.org”

Have you ever encountered embarrassing situations in public? Send us your input and ideas for dealing with similar situations. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com

Published on: May 8, 2008

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