Ignoring Directions
A dad commented that his 12-year-old son didn’t seem to pay attention when given a direction. “He just seems to tune us out at home, and he acts the same with teachers, his soccer coach, his speech therapist, and his sister. He seems to understand language ok, so we’re not sure if he just doesn’t want to follow directions or if there is something else we should consider.”
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Kids, teens, and adults with autism would certainly encounter fewer bumps in life if they followed directions, but many factors stand in the way. For example, your son may be day-dreaming or he may need a bit if time to process the words spoken to him. When a person doesn’t seem to be paying attention, it is best if we stand close to get their attention and that we state exactly what we want to happen. Then we need to pause long enough for them to process those words and to formulate a response. If we start talking again, or nagging them to hurry up, we just interfere with the process. Remember that even people with very sophisticated language skills can have processing delays.
It is possible that he doesn’t know you are speaking to him. Many of my friends with autism tune out the flood of words and sounds that swirl around them at home and in the community. They may not hear instructions like “Everyone come help me carry in the groceries” or “Let’s all line up for lunch.” When these folks don’t follow general group instructions, we usually respond by saying something like, “Robert, why don’t you ever listen?” or “Sylvia, you’d better line up now or you won’t get to eat lunch.”
Sometimes youngsters only hear one part of a direction, so their actions are misread as misbehavior. For example, a teacher might say, “After you put those toys away, David, you can go swing.” The student heard, “David, you can go swing,” so he runs off without putting up the toys.
Of course, it may be that your son is being purposefully defiant. Many youngsters his age start testing their parents and other adults. And do not rule out the possibility that he is thinking along the lines of most pre-teens who wait until they know that the adults giving them directions “really mean it this time!”
These are just a few of the factors that may be contributing to your son’s failure to follow directions at home and at school. Take some time to carefully analyze his incompliance and implement some strategies that help him follow directions.
We welcome comments or ideas from others encountering similar issues. Just click on the comments button or send us an e-mail at talk@FAQautism.com
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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