Teen Drama
Adolescent girls can be rather dramatic when responding to issues and events in their lives. How about teens with autism? Although it may appear on the surface that our young ladies with autism are not as emotional and reactive, we might want to closely explore the tie between their emotions and their behavior.
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Most of my teen girls diagnosed with autism do, indeed, have very intense emotions. I’m not certain if they are more emotional than their peers, but their reactions are different than their peers in two ways: trigger points and responses.
1. DIFFERENT TRIGGER POINTS. Typically, the emotional reaction of teen girls revolves around relationships and people. So they may get upset when they are the objects of gossip or they blow-up when their parents give them advice about clothing or friends.
In contrast, young ladies with autism tend to be more focused on small details of objects and schedules while appearing to be oblivious to snubs by friends or other “people issues.” So, for example, emotional outbursts may occur when a teen outgrows a favorite pair of shoes or when school is canceled because of bad weather. One of my teen friends with autism, “Lisa,” had a major emotional meltdown when the swimming pool did not open its doors precisely on the hour. Another friend, “Michelle,” exploded when her guitar string broke.
2. DIFFERENT RESPONSES. Anyone who has lived with a teenage girl has probably experienced some dramatic moments. Young ladies may express their emotions by pouting, crying, or spouting a tirade of hurtful and critical words.
On the other hand, our friends with autism may respond in unexpected ways to situations that seem relatively minor. For example, Lisa shook the gate of the pool very hard and refused to get back in the car, even after learning the pool was unexpectedly closed for the day for repairs. Michelle started pulling out drawers and looking under furniture and inside file cabinets for a new guitar string. When she realized a new guitar string was not available, she became very agitated, pacing the floor and rocking and swinging her guitar. She did not relax until we got in the car to go purchase a new string for her guitar.
Lisa and Michelle did not use many words, but their physical response was very intense, long-lasting, and not easily stopped. Their typical peers certainly have intense, long-lasting “tantrums,” but their responses are more word-based and focused on trying to hurt or sway another person.
TIP FOR THE DAY: Life with any teenage girl can be filled with drama, whether they are diagnosed with autism or not. Awareness of trigger points and emotional responses for a specific young lady with autism is the first step in calming the storm and in helping shape more appropriate responses. Our FAQautism.com Toolkits are practical, step-by-step, field-tested workbooks with audio discussion that help with that process. Click on the Toolkit tab on our website for great resources; http://FAQautism.com
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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