FAQautism

The realities of autism can bring on a flood of challenges, a situation that causes parents, teachers, therapists, and other to scramble in efforts to change behaviors, teach new skills, deal with issues, and otherwise shape our friends with autism. Over time, we realize we cannot fix everything. When establishing priorities about issues that are most pressing, we need to take a step back, consider a single issue carefully, and ask the question, “Does it matter?”

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For example, a teen friend mentioned that his family and some teachers get upset if he rocks and flaps his hands. He said he wishes other people would be more tolerant and understanding of some of his “odd” behaviors. “I wish they could understand that sometimes I forget and just do things that make me look autistic.” He also commented that he wishes they would understand that making repetitive motions is “just part of autism, just like not hearing the telephone ring is part of being deaf.”

Although this teen’s family probably doesn’t intend to be critical, they might want to step back and decide if – in the grand scheme of things – his repetitive movements really make a difference. As long as the motions don’t harm anyone, it might be best to ignore things like rocking, repetitive hand movements, twirling hair, or humming.

And, since this teen is able to understand the needs of other people, he might want to monitor his habitual movements and sounds on his own. If he notices that other students in the class are distracted by his repetitive rocking, or that his visiting relatives are quite uncomfortable with his hand flapping, he might want to consider taking purposeful steps to decrease the constant motions for a period of time.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Of course, some repetitive or compulsive behaviors are potentially harmful to an individual or to other people. Teeth grinding, hurtful biting or scratching, putting harmful items or substances in mouth, squeezing pets, and other hurtful behaviors need to be addressed immediately. But, in general, repetitive motions or behaviors are a natural consequence of autism, so we might do best to tolerate some repetitive behaviors, realizing that, in the long run, they do not really matter.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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