FAQautism

Take some time – even five minutes – during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season to give yourself a gift. This gift does not cost any money, but it is worth more than anything in the world. You cannot put this gift in a box for wrapping and tying up with a bow. It is invisible, but more valuable than a roomful of gold. If you give or receive this gift, you will impact lives in incredible ways. So take a five-minute break to read or listen to this post so you can give yourself this precious, free gift.

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So, what gift could possibly be that valuable? What present could really make that much difference in your life? It is the gift of forgiveness.

FORGIVE YOURSELF. No matter how hard you try, you are not going to be a perfect parent, teacher, therapist, medical professional, researcher, or other person interested in the well-being of individuals with autism. You can decrease stress and increase joy for yourself and everyone around you if you do the best you can under the circumstances, accept your shortcomings, forgive your failures, and focus on what can be done rather than on what is not possible.

FORGIVE OTHERS. Just as you are incapable of being perfect, other people will have their shortcomings. You may, indeed, encounter some people who are unreasonable, rude, hateful, self-righteous, overly critical, or otherwise undeserving of your forgiveness. People may throw stones at you, put big boulders in your path, or otherwise impede your journey through the world of autism. But I’ve learned over the years the futility of harboring irritation or resentment toward those folks. If I just recognize shortcomings and, whether a person deserves it or not, make a conscious choice to forgive them in my heart or to their face, my stress level decreases and my outlook brightens. And, in some cases, the person has a change of heart and changes their attitude.

TIP FOR THE DAY. There are times, of course, to stand up for a principle, to confront people directly, or to raise the bar on expectations. But, in many cases, forgiveness is the most constructive way to approach issues. George Elliot wrote, “It is surely better to pardon too much than to condemn too much.” This applies to our ability to forgive ourselves as well as others. Mother Teresa is credited with saying, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” Consider giving yourself the gift of forgiveness – just open your hand and it is there.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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