Wishful Thinking
Hearing about miraculous cures or seeing a show about a person with autism who displays an extraordinary talent can lead to wishful thinking. Our frustration is magnified if our youngster is just plodding along or even regressing in some areas. Our time and energy might be best spent on developing a rich relationship with our friends with autism rather than on aiming for perfection or searching frantically for a miracle cure.
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CELEBRATE STRENGTHS. Dealing with challenging issues and behaviors and schedules can be overwhelming, sometimes keeping us focused on dealing with the negatives rather than celebrating the positives. Take some time to laugh, to savor a moment, and give someone a pat on the back. Don’t forget to keep track of even the most insignificant bits of progress. Write down those little joys that pop up every day – even if your youngster seems to be taking one step forward and two steps back. Send yourself an e-mail every few days or jot down milestones or fun stories on a calendar.
EXPLORE OPTIONS. Few problems are solved with wishful thinking. When you see no light at the end of the tunnel or when it seems as if your youngster has hit a brick wall, take a hard look at the issue from every angle. Keep Plan B in your pocket, ready to pull out when Plan A crashes and burns. Sometimes Plan B involves trying a different strategy or developing a creative new way to approach a problem. It might be more productive to accept the status quo or to redefine our expectations. Call on friends and family and experts and mentors for input and advice. Don’t be afraid to take a step back and move in another direction.
TIP FOR THE DAY. Remember that miracles can happen, but, meanwhile, let us accept our friends just as they are, keep our eyes open for creative solutions, and focus on the joy of this day.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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