Avoiding Holidays 2
Understandably, it is tempting for families and individuals with autism to just skip family holiday gatherings. Holidays are great fun, but they can also create some agitation and stress for individuals with autism. Changes in daily routine paired with the swirl of new sights, sounds, foods, and people can be disconcerting for individuals with autism. Families might consider some of these ideas for making holiday visit more comfortable for everyone.
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SCHEDULES. As much as possible, maintain your regular family routine. Of course you want to allow time for some special activities and sightseeing, but try to keep meals, baths, and bedtime on their regular schedule. Don’t forget to talk to your friend with autism about upcoming special activities. Don’t just get in the car and head out. Take some time to tell the person what to expect for that day or for the weekend.
BEDTIME ROUTINE. If at all possible, let your youngster with autism sleep in their own bed. If you are away from home, encourage them to take their own personal pillow and blanket to allow them to relax with familiar smells and textures at night. It may also help your friend head for bed more readily if you avoid exciting, stimulating activity in the evenings and keep the bedtime routine as usual.
BEHAVIORS. If extended family members have not gathered recently, they may not be familiar with an individual’s autism. It can be disconcerting for grandparents, for example, to unexpectedly find out that their granddaughter has quit speaking or has begun having explosive outbursts. You might consider sending them an e-mail or letter briefly discussing the nature of autism and describing some of the currents challenges as well as some of the strengths and special interests that have emerged lately. Don’t forget to respect privacy. Avoid talking out loud in a group setting at family gathering about your child’s autism or about problems you are encountering.
A holiday visit requires that you remain vigilant to help your family member with autism stay on track. A low-key approach to the whole situation works best. It isn’t necessary to make a big deal over challenging behaviors or issues that arise. Don’t expect perfection. Take care of all problems swiftly and quietly, then relax and enjoy your visit. Over time, these family visits will become more familiar to your son, and the family traditions will become an important part of the fabric of his life.
TIP FOR THE DAY: Each family must make its own decision about participating in holiday gatherings with their extended family, but I encourage you to give it a try, even if you just visit for a few hours. Taking time to strengthen family ties will add to the quality of life of your youngster with autism over the years.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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