Avoiding Holidays 1
Holiday visits can raise the stress level for all families, and the issues related to autism can add to the pressure. Some families worry about their youngster’s behavior in a new setting with lots of people around. Others are sensitive to the reaction by grandparents, aunt and uncles, and other family members to their child’s agitation, eating habits, toileting habits, or other challenging issues related to autism.
or
continue reading
Ten years ago, a parent of a fifth grader diagnosed with autism commented that holiday visits were particularly difficult for her family. “Although none of the aunts and uncles and grandparents have said anything critical, my husband and I both feel pressure to make everything perfect so our daughter doesn’t act strange or have a meltdown.” Over the years, the family has learned to relax and enjoy holiday visits with their extended family. Their youngster still struggles with significant behavior issues when away from the security and comfort of her own home and daily routine, but her family has learned that everything runs smoother if they approach the holidays from a different perspective. They share these tips:
1. Don’t expect perfection. It is unfair to your youngster and to the family to expect perfection. You can certainly take steps to help optimize the holiday visit, but it is not fair to your daughter or to your family members to expect anyone to be perfect. She may have some tense moments and your family members may not always say the right things, but you need to keep in mind that all families have warts and bumps. Family gatherings are about friendship and connections and traditions, not about perfect kids.
2. Don’t make assumptions. Many of us make inaccurate assumptions about what others are thinking. When it comes to the reaction of other people to individuals with special needs, we tend to be overly sensitive about their words and facial expressions. Sometimes we assume that Aunt Tilly’s silence is criticism, but it may be that she is just trying to figure out an appropriate way to ask you to help her understand more about autism.
3. Relax and enjoy. This is often easier said than done, but you can really optimize family gatherings for yourself, for your child, and for your extended family if you just chill out and enjoy the day. Look for the positive and ignore the negative, both in your youngster and in the extended famiy.
TIP FOR THE DAY: Take a look at part two of this discussion, Avoiding Holidays, for more tips to help everyone relax and enjoy the holidays.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
Automatically generated related posts:
- Home for the Holidays Holiday gatherings strengthen family bonds and build memories and traditions...
- Avoiding Holidays 2 Understandably, it is tempting for families and individuals with autism...
- Holiday Visits “Just the thought of visiting our family at Thanksgiving raises...
- Holidays Coming Soon The excitement of the holidays, large family gatherings, new foods...
- Happy Holidays We are continuing our discussion about aspects of holidays that...