Modesty
I recognize the fact that I am more modest than most people, but I still contend that we need to help our friends with autism maintain some degree of modesty when taking care of private needs such as dressing, bathing, or toileting. Not only will it make others more comfortable, but also we owe our friends with autism that measure of respect.
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One evening recently, a friend and I dropped by the home of some friends whose pre-teen daughter is diagnosed with autism. Their daughter – excited to hear my voice -came dancing on her toes into the living room wearing nothing except night-time diapers. The youngster and her family were not fazed by her state of undress, but it was a bit disconcerting to me and my teen friend. Several days later, I visited with the parents about the young lady’s dress at home, without any note of criticism or judgment. Apparently she often hangs around the house in only diapers. We talked a bit about their considering having her wear at least gym shorts and a t-shirt now that she is growing and maturing. They were very open to the suggestion, indicating they had not actually thought about the fact that more modest attire might be more appropriate for their pre-teen.
Similar consideration may be warranted in other situations. For example, many of my friends with autism – kids, teens, and adults – do not close the door when they use the bathroom at my home or at school. With a picture card and gentle reminders, I help them get in the habit of closing the door before toileting when at my house. I also encourage families and teachers to add that step to “toileting routine” at home, at school, and in other public places.
TIP FOR THE DAY: As we rush through each day, we might want to take just a few extra seconds to help maintain privacy for our friends with autism as they are dressing, bathing, toileting, or dealing with other personal care matters.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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