Different Viewpoints
You might encounter some frustrating situations if you have a friend, family member, or professional colleague with autism. Because individuals with autism deal with challenges related to communication, social interaction, and restrictive behaviors and perspectives, they may well view situations and relationships very differently from your more conventional view.
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For example, one of my adult friends with autism interprets conversation and comments very literally. She often takes a casual comment to heart and dwells on the issue for hours. She is a bright, competent professional, but she does not easily discern the difference between sarcastic remarks and genuine comments. These communication breakdowns have caused many difficulties with her family and her professional colleagues over the years.
Some adults with autism who otherwise function like their typical peers may have very strange or obsessive habits that lead to misunderstandings and distrust. For example, a person might seem to be extraordinarily secretive or even menacing when they disappear for long periods of time or avoid conversations with at work or family reunions. Or they may seem rude when they make very direct comments or unflattering personal observations in a staff meeting or at a dinner with friends. They may seem to be unreasonable, uncooperative, or argumentative, but their lack of tact or empathy may actually be due to deficits in social interaction and communication skills, deficiencies very common among individuals on the spectrum of autism.
These conflicts are more likely to arise when the person appears on the surface to be a typical adult or when other people are not aware of their diagnosis of Asperger’s or autism. And some adults who have marked autistic tendencies were never diagnosed on the spectrum of autism because they have lead a relatively typical life – doing well in school, getting a job, and even having a family. But this doesn’t mean their issues related to autism will not interfere in some cases with their daily lives.
TIP FOR THE DAY: If you know or suspect an adult friend or colleague is functioning on the spectrum of autism, I encourage you to give them the benefit of the doubt and to try to recognize the fact their viewpoint and perspectives are shaped and even sometimes held captive by autism.
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NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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