All or Nothing
In the past week, several teachers and family members have asked about ideas for addressing on-going behaviors that are particularly disruptive or irritating – things such as continual screaming, repetitive phrases, and frequent hitting or scratching. Although each situation requires a strategy customized to the individual, one consideration that applies in all cases of intense, on-going issues like this is to avoid the “all or nothing” mindset.
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A comprehensive discussion of behavior management issues would take hours, and we only have a few minutes. So we will just look at one key component of any behavior strategy, that of realistic expectations. Granted, when a person with autism screams loudly for hours on end, or if a youngster repeats the alphabet incessantly, our ultimate goal is to stop the behavior immediately and completely. My mom reflected this sentiment when correcting me and my three brothers for rowdy behavior. She would announce very sternly, “I want this to stop, and I want it to stop now!”
Although my mom did seem to have some magical power that caused all four of us to straighten up and fly right on command, it is often unrealistic to expect individuals with autism to stop a particularly annoying or hurtful repetitive habit just because we ask them to do so. So what are our options when dealing with on-going behavior issues?
In my experience, the key is avoiding the all-or-nothing mentality. If a person repeats the alphabet 40 times in a span of ten minutes, I observe closely and celebrate when they “only” repeat the phrase 39 times in ten minutes.
Our friends with autism who scream incessantly can raise the stress level of anyone in earshot. Because of the disruption, we may fail to recognize that a continual screamer has started having 15-second moments of silence about four times an hour. But, in reality, those brief moments of silence are real progress.
One of my teen students has finally moved away from repeating long segments of Star Wars movies after having done so for about ten years. It was a very slow transformation, but his repetitive monologues gradually decreased in length last spring, and the frequency of the interruptions decreased to less than one per hour during the summer. He has not made any mention of Star Wars during music therapy this fall.
TIP FOR THE DAY: In all of these cases, we did not just sit by and hope the disruptive or hurtful behaviors would go away. We implemented custom-designed strategies designed to decrease those issues while at the same time increasing positive and productive behaviors. But the keys to our being able to help our friends with autism make real progress while at the same time maintaining our sanity was to specifically note tiny bits of progress and to avoid all-or-nothing expectations.
On a personal note, I’m calling on all you loyal listeners to spread the word about FAQautism.com. I tend to focus on producing excellent podcast posts every day for the FAQautism community, so I need you help in marketing this free service. Take a minute and tell a friend. THANKS!
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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