Within Arms Reach
Some individuals with autism strike out at others, hitting or pinching people sitting or standing close by. What causes this behavior? What can we do to keep our aggressive friends with autism from hurting other people who are within reaching distance?
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Every situation has a unique, but several of my more aggressive friends with autism struggle with the issue of proximity. One teenager, for example, enjoys activity and interaction with other people, but has always struggled with sharing his space. He has difficulty tolerating people or objects within arm’s reach. He tends to thrown items or sweep them off the desk. It is difficult for him to hold something in his hand – just too much sensory input. Those sensory issues may contribute to the fact that he is rarely able to sit very close to another person. If a person sits next to him on the school bus or a teacher sits right next to his desk to help him in school, he often reaches out to gently nudge or tug at the person. Because the youngster is non-verbal he cannot express his discomfort, so his agitation can turn into a harder push or hit – sometimes hurtful. He does the same thing if he must stand relatively close to people in a check-out line at a store or sit with people rubbing elbows on both sides at a school assembly or church.
So, how can we prevent this young man from striking out at other people? It is our responsibility to keep people and things out of reaching distance. Without our making a big issue, we can subtly make certain he stands or sits or walks out of arm’s reach of other people. When adults MUST walk close beside him, we could walk just slightly behind his arm, decreasing the potential for his being able to strike out and hit us.
This individual finds it particularly difficult to sit or stand face-to-face with another person. Again, the close proximity of others probably ignites a sensory storm. When in a situation that requires face-to-face contact, we could have a desk between teacher and the student. The same is true of sitting right next to him in a chair, couch, dinner table, car, or school bus. He is more relaxed when there is a barrier or some space between him and other person. We just avoid situations where he must share benches and couches with other people. He does best in his own chair, desk, seat on the bus, and seat in the car.
TIP FOR THE DAY. The trick is to keep people and objects out of arms reach while avoiding isolation. The point is to keep him in contact with people and to allow him to participate in many activities without requiring him to sit elbow to elbow or face to face.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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