Public vs Private Behavior
Most of us know that some behavior that is acceptable in the privacy of our own home is not, in fact, appropriate in public. Differentiating between public and private behavior is not a concept that comes naturally to individuals with autism.
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PERSONAL INTERACTION: Most people do not talk as politely to their own family as they do to others. But, beyond that, family members tend to speak less respectfully to each other at home than in public.
LANGUAGE: Language that might be acceptable in the privacy of your own home may be extraordinarily inappropriate in most public settings. The same goes for language used on movies, television shows, and other media.
ACTIONS: Sometimes family members tease each other at home by snatching a sandwich off another’s plate or changing the channel on the television unexpectedly. It is not, of course, appropriate to do the same to a stranger in public. Giving a big bear hug to a stranger can cause alarm in public – the same big bear hug a dad gives his son at home.
PRIVACY: Little kids can get in the habit at home of coming out of shower without clothes or out of the bathroom with their pants down to their knees. That same behavior can become extremely inappropriate as they grow older, whether at home, at school, or at summer camp.
TIP FOR THE DAY: The moral of the story is to assume your friend with autism will carry all home habits into public. Even very socially perceptive individuals with autism sometimes have difficulty understanding which language and actions are acceptable in private, but not in public.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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