Personal Pillow
An articulate teen with autism talked about his pillow last week. He gets agitated when his mom just suddenly replaces his pillow on occasion. His mom does not understand why he wants to cling to his old pillow since everyone else in the family loves new pillows. The teen thinks his mom is unreasonable, and mom thinks her son is unreasonable.
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Why do some people with autism cling obsessively to a certain pillow? One of my young friends with autism actually hides his pillow from his grandmother hoping she will not wash it or change the pillow slip.
Two issues common in autism may contribute to the situation: (1) an inherent resistance to change, and (2) extreme sensory issues that result in their being very particular about pillows, blankets, sheets, and other bedding. A person with autism can be very sensitive to changes in the texture, weight, color, and pattern of a pillowslip, not to mention unfamiliar smells from new detergents or fabric softeners.
Because the extremely acute sensory sensitivities and the compulsive resistance to change are somewhat typical for individuals with autism, you might consider implementing some of these field-tested strategies.
1. Shopping. Let your friend with autism shop for and select their own pillow. Even pre-schoolers and individuals who are non-verbal can take part in choosing their bedding if you put three choices in front of them and let them touch their choice.
2. Double up. Consider selecting two pillows when shopping. Alternate pillows each week, allowing individuals to “break in” two pillows, thereby creating an acceptable spare pillow.
3. Pillow Covers. When you purchase pillows, let your friend with autism select two pillowslips and two pillow protectors. The pillow protector can be washed and helps prolong the life of the pillow.
4. Portable pillows. You might also consider having your friend pick out one or two colorful, washable “throw pillows” to keep on their bed. A smaller, colorful pillow is a great transition object when an individual with autism spends the night away from home on vacation, camp, a sleepover, or a visit to grandmama’s house.
5. Reserved. Reserve these pillows exclusively for the person with autism so they can experience the comfort of their own personal pillow every night.
6. Investment. Given the tendency of individuals with autism to resist change, purchasing very durable, better quality, allergy-free pillows pays off in the long run – financially and emotionally. I’ve seen some blankets and pillows literally worn down to shreds before youngsters finally decide to tolerate a replacement.
TIP FOR THE DAY: One last VERY IMPORTANT point: remember that the pillows are very personal and precious to individuals with autism, so don’t just randomly throw them away and replace them with a new pillow.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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