Deal Breakers Part 1
Is there ever a time when we should just let things go? Must we deal with every single issue that arises in the lives of our friends because of their autism? Are there issues we just accept as part of autism? At what point do challenging issues become deal breakers?
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Families, teachers, therapists, and others are certainly dedicated to the well-being of individuals with autism, and willing to do what is necessary to maximize their potential and enhance their quality of life. But the cold hard facts help us understand our time and energy are limited. The sheer breadth and depth of autism prevents us from even addressing every issue that arises in a day. Individuals functioning on the spectrum of autism face daily challenges related to communication, social interaction, sensory sensitivities, self-help skills, restrictive behaviors, and more. The trick is to recognize that fine line between tolerable issues and deal breakers.
Sometimes we can ignore or tolerate behaviors and issues, and sometimes we can implement a plan to gradually shape more appropriate or acceptable behaviors. But sometimes we encounter deal breakers, issues that need immediate attention. Let us look at some criteria to consider when defining deal breakers.
1. Is any physical or emotional harm done to the individual with autism or others around them? To what degree?
2. What are the circumstances surrounding the issue? Can we control any of those circumstances?
3. What choices do we have for addressing the deal breaker?
Let us look at rocking for an example. Rocking is a prevalent, though not universal, trait in autism. I have seen individuals hit their heads or fall out of a chair because of their vigorous rocking, but typically rocking doesn’t cause any physical or emotional harm. Continual rocking can be irritating or distracting to others. Some of my friends with autism can maintain their focus while rocking, and others seem to move away into another world when they begin rocking. One high school friend with autism told me she actually rocks slightly when she is most focused and attentive in class or at home. So, at what point does rocking become a deal breaker?
TUNE IN for part 2 of this discussion. We will continue exploring the ins and outs of rocking and look at a few other examples of potential deal breakers.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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