FAQautism

Part 1 of this discussion introduced the concept that parents, teachers, and others use more than words when giving instructions. Sometimes individuals with autism are not able to pick up on vocal tone or facial expression, and other cues that help individuals know that, for example, Mom really means it when she says, “Come to the table.” Because individuals with autism sometimes miss nuances and social cues, they may not follow instructions.

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So, for example, when Mom says, “Come to the table,” she may, indeed, be giving a casual reminder or a gentle warning. At other times, the very same words demand immediate compliance. I find it useful to follow a four-step process when I want my friends with autism to pay attention to a specific direction and to follow it in a reasonable time.

Step 1. Capture attention. I stop what I’m doing and connect with my friend with autism, either by calling their name, touching their hand, or standing close.

Step 2. Give specific instruction. I immediately tell them specifically what to do. Notice I do not tell them what I do NOT want them to do. For example, I will say, “Hands on knees,” rather than “Don’t touch the food in the serving dish until we are all sitting down and ready to eat.” Or I will say, “Mouth quiet, no sounds,” rather than, “You are really distracting the other kids, so you need to quit talking and quit interrupting the class.”

Step 3. Wait expectantly. After giving a specific direction, I give my friend with autism time to process and follow the direction. I wait quietly with a positive, expectant look on my face. When they follow the direction as much as possible, I say, “Good job!”

Step 4. Break it down. If they do not follow the direction, I break it down and follow steps 1, 2, and 3. So, for example, I break down the instruction, “Please clear the table,” by saying things like, “Put this glass on the counter,” then “Put this plate in the dishwasher.” Then I wait expectantly and say, “Way to go,” when they finish one task.

TIP FOR THE DAY: There are many reasons why individuals with autism do not readily follow instructions, so this process doesn’t always work. But, if you start with these four steps, you are giving your friend the best possible chance of knowing that you really mean what you say and that you expect them to follow your directions.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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