Priorities
Sometimes we have to pick our battles. There is simply not enough time in a day to address all the issues that arise in the lives of many individuals with autism – challenges in social interaction, communication, sensory sensitivity, repetitive rituals, obsessive interests. So how can we prioritize all of that?
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We learn to pick our battles, sometimes ignoring behaviors that might be considered inappropriate. For example, if we are helping a youngster with autism learn to participate in group activities, we might ignore his nail-biting or hand-flapping as long as he makes some effort to stay seated in the group and to imitate his peers.
To keep from constantly nagging a person, we might tolerate behaviors inherent in autism such as rocking or murmuring quietly or refusing to eat foods with certain textures. We might tolerate an obsession with a ragged blanket or the need to follow precisely the same routine every single night before bed.
If a teen with autism is learning to sit quietly rather than screaming loudly, we might ignore his constant humming. If we are helping an individual with autism learn to sit at the table during a group meal without throwing silverware or a plate, it would probably be counterproductive to start nagging him about cleaning his plate or using a napkin.
It is, of course, occasionally critical that we take swift action to stop a behavior. Sometimes a person with autism is in danger of hurting them selves or another person. It is also important to step in when a person’s public behavior is extremely inappropriate or destructive. It is up to us to decide whether the behavior truly needs immediate attention, or whether we reacting because we are annoyed or irritated.
TIP FOR THE DAY: So, we need to pick our battles carefully, a strategy that sometimes requires us to ignore or tolerate behaviors so we can focus on the priority issues.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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