Different Viewpoints
The very nature of autism results in a vast array of viewpoints about causes, symptoms, treatments, and even definitions of autism. A parent was expressing his concern about different – and sometimes conflicting – philosophies of teachers, doctors, and others who were involved in the care of his young son with autism. How do we reconcile conflicting opinions and different viewpoints?
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It is difficult, if not impossible, to see eye-to-eye with every person who is interested in individuals with autism. We develop our opinions and viewpoints based on personal experiences, conversations, observations, reading, and research. No matter the situation or level of expertise, we will, of course, find we agree with some people and disagree with others about approaches to education, therapy, medical treatment, psycho-social issues, political actions, and other issues related to autism.
What is the most constructive way to respond to people who have a different viewpoint? We can chose to get mad, to argue until we are blue in the face, or to threaten a lawsuit, but we probably won’t change the opinion of the other party. And, except in rare situations, negative reactions are not in the best interest of our friend with autism. Here are some options for dealing with differences in opinion.
1. Agree to disagree. We can share our viewpoint with the other party and listen to their side of the issue. Then we can both decide to move forward in spite of our differences. Following this option gives us the opportunity to continue the conversation, provide more evidence to support our viewpoint, and maybe eventually influence opinions.
2. Agree to part ways. If we are of the opinion that the approach of a doctor or teacher or therapist or other professional is not appropriate for our youngster, we can politely express our concerns. If they are unwilling to make adjustments, we can thank them for their time and move on. In some cases, choosing this option requires literally moving to a different town or locating a different clinic or school.
3. Best of both worlds. In spite of philosophical differences, we can work cooperatively to pick and choose the aspects of different approaches that are most beneficial for the wellbeing of our friend with autism, creating a melded approach. This plan of action requires a great deal of diplomacy and tact, but is worth the effort, particularly if you do not have the option of moving your family, changing schools, or otherwise locating different professionals.
TIP FOR THE DAY: Anger, gossip, threats, and heated arguments may make us feel better, but they are usually counterproductive and they rarely convince others to change their opinions. Disagreements about approaches to autism are best settled in a pro-active, positive manner.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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