FAQautism

Except in rare circumstances, our best efforts will not cure inflexibility in autism. Rigidity and ritualistic behaviors are inherent in autism, and these challenges interfere with the lives of every individual diagnosed with autism, to a greater or lesser degree. Because of time and space limitations, we will look at just three tips for helping increase calmness and flexibility in the lives of people with autism and the people around them.

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1. AVOID ESCALATING THE SITUATION. Our reaction to situations can make matters worse. It is rarely productive, for example, to fuss at a person for humming incessantly, or to yell, “You must eat something besides macaroni and cheese. I took the time to make this good fruit salad, and I expect you to eat it.” We can throw away a favorite pillow or sell a favorite stuffed animal in a garage sale, but, until an acceptable substitute is available, our actions just escalate frustration or anger or agitation.

2. BE PATIENT. Miraculous cures are rare. Everyone is best served by recognizing that some issues are simply inherent in autism. We can help shape new habits more appropriate responses, but it is a slow process. In most cases, it works best to ignore some issues and to make a step-by-step strategy for helping shape extraordinarily disruptive or destructive behaviors. For example, we can tolerate a person wearing the same t-shirt every single Wednesday, but we might want to implement a plan immediately to help a person stop scratching and biting people sitting in arm’s reach. We can help a person who asks incessant questions develop more appropriate conversation skills, but we may need to learn to ignore their tendency to rock.

3. GROW THICK SKIN. People will be critical no matter what we do. We need to learn to ignore disapproving glances, critical remarks, and judgmental attitudes by family members, friends, and the general public. Our goal is not to please other people nor to win their approval, but rather to help our friends with autism lead content, productive lives. Sometimes that can only be accomplished when we grow thick skin and focus on our strategies rather than on gossip.

TIP FOR THE DAY: We have over 500 archived episodes of FAQautism, a number of which address specific challenges related to inflexibility. These episodes detail proven strategies for shaping flexibility and encouraging contentment for individuals with autism, no matter the extent of their rigid interests, restrictive habits, and inflexible attitudes. I encourage you to type key words into the search box on our website http://FAQautism.com or to send me a confidential e-mail detailing your specific challenges: talk@FAQautism.com. You will receive a confidential reply to your inquiry.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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