Celebrating Birthdays
Traditional birthday parties with big groups of kids, organized games, birthday cake, and balloons are not always a possibility for youngsters with autism. Some are averse to noise and groups, and others rarely participate in organized games. Some have food sensitivities that do not allow for traditional birthday cake, and others do not cooperate with activities such as opening gifts. What are some options for celebrating birthdays for youngsters with autism?
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+ Outdoor parties allow kids to shout and tumble without constant fussing from adults to “be quiet.” Locate an outdoor space that has boundaries, and let the kids roam freely that space. Kids can play in a fenced yard, a park pavilion, or a play area at a local park or at your school or church.
+ Rather than trying to gather all the kids up for a cooperative game, provide toys that allow for independent, parallel play. For example, let the youngsters loose with big wheels cars or scooter boards. Give every child a large beach ball that is slightly underinflated or a squish ball to enjoy playing with alone or with another child. Some youngsters can play well with bubbles, with little hot wheels cars, with Frisbees, or with a big box of long, colorful scarves and dress-up clothes.
+ Do not feel obligated to follow the tradition of inviting a child’s entire class to his birthday party. If your youngster gets agitated in large groups, just invite kids he has connected with at school or in the neighborhood. Or plan a special outing at the beach, the zoo, or a local park with just a few of his favorite family members.
+ Some individuals with autism do not handle the traditional activity of opening birthday presents – they may tear, throw, or otherwise damage new items. They may not be able to respond to the gift-giver politely, or they may not be able to tolerate the group crowding around while they open gifts. The easiest way to decrease that stress is to tell guests to just come enjoy the celebration without bringing gifts. Or your youngster can open gifts after the party in the quiet of his own home.
+ Consider substituting your youngster’s favorite food for a traditional birthday cake or gooey cupcakes. For example, you can put birthday candles on a stack of sandwiches cut in fun shapes with cookie cutters. Birthday candles can also decorate a watermelon or a carton of ice cream. Some of my friends with autism do not tolerate candles well, so families just skip that tradition and get straight to the snack of popcorn or hot chocolate or animal crackers or any other special treat your youngster enjoys.
+ Don’t forget to take your camera for pictures of individuals and the whole group. You and your youngster will cherish those pictures in the coming years.
TIP FOR THE DAY. The key to a successful birthday party is to plan the party around the kid’s favorite activities and foods and people. Focus on pleasing the child, not others. Then, relax, have fun, and celebrate!
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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