23 March 2009

Weekends

Behavior Issues Caregiver Support Personal Interaction Quality of Life Rituals and Routines

A parent sent an e-mail several weeks ago because she was at the end of her rope. Mom was searching for some ideas for helping her son with autism enjoy the weekends rather than getting bored and agitated. His sisters and brother thrived in the leisure pace of the weekend and were able to fill their free time, but the ten-year-old was at loose ends.

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There are so many factors involved in the topic of “free time and autism,” but we will just take time today to look at some ideas that seemed to work for this youngster and his family. Basically, the family just made two minor changes.

1. SCHEDULE. The family did not change their weekend activities and pursuits significantly, but they wrote down a basic schedule for Saturday and Sunday. The ten-year-old carried that index card in his pocket, looked at it occasionally, and seemed content. Although this youngster is very bright, he is apparently not able to visualize a day and anticipate what is coming next. He thrived during the regular, predictable routine of the school days, but the weekends were just bottomless pits as far as he was concerned. He just fell in on Friday evening and didn’t know where he was going to land on Sunday evening. HIs weekend schedule was not filled with details about specific activities or times, but rather general items. For example, his Saturday schedule just listed various activities such as waking-up, playing with Captain (the cat,) jumping on trampoline, shopping, riding bike, showering, brushing teeth, and eating breakfast, lunch, and supper. Some individuals with autism are, of course, very focused on time and would do better with a schedule that included approximate times of various events.

2. SPECIAL EVENT. I realize that families – especially parents – are very busy on weekends, and that the thought of adding one more item to the to-do list can be overwhelming. But, if we make small investment of personal, face-to-face, uninterrupted time with our friends with autism several times a day, everyone will reap rich rewards. The family of the ten-year-old realized they could squeeze in a few “special events” each weekend to help the young man look forward to weekends and to remain content. In this case, the family made a list of the youngster’s favorite activities. Most were fun, easy pursuits that didn’t take much time or preparation, e.g. running in park, reading a book out loud, cooking pancakes, visiting Grandma across town, or playing piano duets. The youngster really perked up when the family added several of his favorite activities to the weekend schedule written on his index card. Just the anticipation of a fun event coming in the near future was enough to decrease agitation and boredom. Interestingly, all of the youngsters and even the parents began looking forward to the “special events” each weekend.

TIP FOR THE DAY. An investment in a little bit of time to write down schedules and to plan a few special weekend activities pays off for every member of the family.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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