Public Reaction
Last week a parent of a 6th grader with autism was very angry with the general public. Apparently some older ladies stared at her son and said something to each other about his behavior when the youngster had an explosive outburst in the grocery store. Mom was quite upset and said she could not understand how people would be rude to a young boy with a disability.
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I invited the mom in for a cup of coffee and asked her to tell me more details about the episode. As it turns out, her son’s outburst came on quite suddenly and escalated quickly into an episode that could have been hurtful to the youngster and people around him. He is as tall and as heavy as his mom, so is capable of knocking over people or shopping carts. Although this youngster looks exactly like any other teenager, he has limited cognitive functioning and he only speaks three or four functional words.
I certainly understand the reason mom was upset, but I think we need to be realistic about public reaction to our loved ones with autism, especially if they appear on the surface to be a typical youngster. Because this episode began without warning, people in the store were probably startled with the loud screaming, and the older ladies may well have been concerned for their own safety.
One of my parents developed a method for discreetly communicating the fact that her son’s disruptive outbursts were due to autism. Her quick fix was business cards. Because her son looked like a typical young adult, people were often puzzled by his spurts of rather bizarre behaviors. His mom started carrying custom business cards, passing them out quickly to surrounding folks when her son had an outburst in public. The cards said something to this effect: “Thank you for your interest in my son, a young man with autism. You can find more information on the Autism Spectrum Disorders Fact Sheet by clicking on www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/actearly/autism.html.”
TIP FOR THE DAY: Unless individuals with disabilities – autism or otherwise – stay secluded in their homes, never getting out in public, they will encounter people who do not understand the situation or who respond rudely. We really only have a few options for response: (1) take time to explain the situation in detail, (2) hand out a business card, (3) smile and wave, (4) ignore them, or (5) get mad. The easiest path is to avoid spending time and energy on things you cannot change.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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