Do It Now
Without meaning to do so, we all spend more time and energy telling our youngsters and students with autism what we do NOT want them to do than we spend telling them what we DO want them to do. In my weekly contact with dozens of individuals with autism, I often hear them repeating our words. Just today I heard one 8-year-old repetitively say “Don’t pick your nose” and a high school student repeating her teacher’s instructions, “Don’t fidget” over and over and over again.
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An individual with autism can be confused for several reasons if we say, “Don’t scratch that ant bite.” First, he may miss the first few words of the sentence. If that is the case, he hears, “Scratch that ant bite.” Since the ant bite itches, that direction certainly makes sense under the circumstances.
It is also possible that a youngster is not a self-starter and needs specific instructions about what TO do. For example, he may need to be told what he should do if the ant bite is bothering him. He can put a paper towel with cool water on the bite or ask for medicine or a band-aid. If he continues to scratch the bite, we can say, “Hands on knees, now,” and give him something constructive to do with his hands to distract him from the itch.
In any case, is much more effective to state instructions in specific, positive terms. Rather than saying, “Don’t fidget,” we can say, “Relax…calm…and look at this book.” If a youngster has a habit of picking her nose, say “Kleenex, please,” or Clean fingers, hands down now, please” instead of saying, “Don’t pick your nose.”
Rather than saying, “Don’t leave your shoes in the middle of the floor because you know that someone will trip on them and you never listen to a word I say so listen to me carefully and don’t do that again,” we might say, “Shoes in closet now, please.”
TIP FOR THE DAY. Concentrate on telling people what you DO want them to do rather than nagging them by telling them what you DON’T want them to do.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified
music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At
providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for
people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at
thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t
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