FAQautism

Behavior management can be challenging. During the past week, several parents and teachers brought up issues that do not have cut-and-dried answers. In some cases, the solutions are elusive when trying to change or shape explosive or hurtful behavior. What can we do when we run up against a brick wall?

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The first step – and maybe the most important step – in dealing with particularly challenging, explosive, or hurtful behaviors is to avoid making matters worse. So, when you encounter a particularly difficult situation, take a step back and make a quick plan for avoiding confrontation and diffusing the situation. Once escalation stops, you can then make a long-term plan for changing the behavior.

So, for example, if a family member with autism absolutely refuses to take a shower every night, simply drop that expectation on your part. He may not smell like a rose, but changing the requirement prevents bloody noses, broken mirrors, and ripped shower curtains that result from the nightly temper tantrums.

If your friend with autism raids the kitchen every night – drinking a two-liter bottle of soda or eating a two-pound sack of sugar – keep all unhealthy foods out of the house for the time being.

One friend wrote about her adult son’s extremely dangerous habit of plopping in the middle of a busy street or parking lot. Until he learns to walk without plopping, it might be best for this mom to avoid walking in streets and parking lots. If another adult is available, they can drive a car to the entrance of a store for drop-off and pick-up.

Another friend is concerned that her teen son unsnaps and unzips his jeans in public places. She was able to stop the embarrassing habit by putting a thick, substantial belt on his jeans with the buckle in the back.

TIP FOR THE DAY. Diffuse the situation first, then take a deep breath and make a long-term plan for changing the behavior.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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