Know Your Limits
When we live with an individual with autism, we become experts on the subject. Teachers and therapists with years of experience working with individuals with autism become experts in the area. This podcast shares a few words of caution about that expertise.
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Parents are only experts about their own child. Because each person with autism has a unique mix of strengths and deficits in communication, social interaction, sensory sensitivities, cognitive abilities, and behavior issues, it is inappropriate to make broad generalizations and to assume strategies, therapies, or treatments apply to every single person with autism. Experienced teachers and therapists should use caution as well.
Sometimes other people make inaccurate assumptions about our friends with autism. For example, they may assume a non-verbal person has no receptive language. Or they may assume a bright, articulate person with autism has good social skills. Sometimes these assumptions are based on their interaction in the past with another person with autism. You can help others understand the concept of individual differences, something that is particularly applicable in the world of autism.
Some individuals with autism need rather intense care and supervision 24/ 7 for many years. Under those circumstances, it is easy to get wrapped up in that world. Parents, family members, and long-term caregivers might want to take a step back occasionally and realize their friend with autism is not the center of the universe.
Avoid hogging the conversation. Remember that other people are dealing with issues also, even parents of exceptionally bright, “typical” kids. Express some interest in other people and their families rather than talking non-stop about your friend with autism.
If people ask, help them understand some of the challenges you face. But don’t forget to share at least one strength, one talent, or one accomplishment. Your friend with autism is a real human being with some inconsistencies in their bodies. Listen to yourself talk. Make certain you are portraying your friend as a human being, not as a bundle of problems and challenges.
TIP FOR THE DAY. Because no one can be the ultimate expert on a topic as varied as autism, it is wise to measure your words, your opinions, and your attitudes.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified
music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At
providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for
people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at
thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t
forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse
into the world of autism.
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