FAQautism

Many individuals with autism thrive in an environment that has a regular, predictable routine, some to the point of being inflexible and becoming extremely agitated when routines are changed. How can we help individuals with autism learn to tolerate schedule changes so they are not holding their families or classmates hostage? How can we teach our friends with autism flexibility?

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Several teachers have recently reported that inflexibility and explosive behavior is affecting other students in the class. Teachers are wondering whether it is better to just avoid conflict by sticking with the very same routine every day – an atmosphere is boring for some students. A teen whose brother with autism is very inflexible described a situation similar to that reported by other families. The teen said, “To keep my big brother from hitting and throwing and screaming, we eat the same foods and go the same places and watch the same movies over and over again. We are all getting bored and a little bit upset because we can’t do anything different.”

This is a tough situation. Inflexibility is a natural characteristic of autism, so we probably won’t be able to just snap our fingers and make people change. But, we can take some steps to help inflexible individuals learn that changes in routine are just a part of life. The following are some ideas for the teen’s family.

1. MIX NEW WITH THE OLD. First, you need to decide as a family to gradually start introducing new things in your brother’s life. Make a schedule for the week. Fill in all the regular, routine happenings like school, church, baseball, or whatever. Let your brother pick out an activity, a favorite food, and a favorite movie or television show for each day. Then introduce one change in routine each day.
2. KEEP IT LOW-KEY. Sneak change into the schedule. When making the schedule, say something like, “You chose to go to the grocery store like we do every Friday. That is your choice. Now, I’m going to make a choice. I want to go for a walk in the park right before we go to the grocery store.” Just announce that new activity, write it on the calendar, and remind him every day that you are going to the grocery store on Friday at 4 o’clock and that you are going for a walk in the park at 3:30.
2.BE PREPARED. Your brother will probably get very mad when you head for the park. Your family needs to be prepared for his usual screaming and throwing. Before he starts screaming, say things like, “I know you want to go to the grocery store. We are going to the grocery store at 4:00. First the park, then the grocery store.” Then just ignore his screaming and keep things out of his reach so he doesn’t hurt someone in the car. When you get to the park, take a very short walk, then say, “That was fun! I like to walk in the park. Now it is time to go to the grocery store.”
3. DON’T GIVE UP. At first, your brother will be very upset with the changes. Just calmly say, “First the park, then the grocery store.” The key to success is to avoid giving up when he starts screaming. It will take some time, but eventually he will learn that he won’t get is way when he screams.
4. MOVE FORWARD. Keep introducing new activities without taking away his old favorites. He will eventually learn that his daily routine includes one new activity. You can use the same principle to introduce new foods and new movies. Don’t take away his favorites, but add yours to the mix. For example, if he will only eat pizza on Tuesday nights, keep the pizza and add your favorite, a salad or spaghetti or whatever. If you stick with this plan, you can help your brother and your whole family enjoy life.

TIP FOR THE DAY: The key to teaching flexibility is to be patient and persistent while teaching your friend with autism that change is actually an integral part of routine.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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