Sitters for Teens
Although some teenagers with autism can stay at home alone just as their peers, others need supervision when parents are away. Parents frequently mention the challenges involved in finding and training a sitter for teens or young adults with autism. The topic of babysitters could fill a book, but these are some ideas to consider.
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The very phrase, “I’ll call the babysitter” can be a catalyst for explosive or withdrawn behavior. One strategy that has proven successful for several families of people with autism is to simply avoid the term “babysitter.” Instead, the families develop long-term relationships with four or five reliable individuals who are willing to work occasionally as a caregiver for your teen. These folks might be retired teachers or therapists, college students, friends of the family, or neighbors. Rather than being labeled as “babysitters,” the families call them “our friend Brandi” or “our friend Michael.” Rather than raising a red flag by saying, “I’m going to call the babysitter,” the parents might say, “I wonder if Brandi would like to come hang out at our house on Saturday.”
It goes without saying that “our friends” must be reliable and trustworthy. It is also helpful if you can find a person who matches your youngster’s personality. For example, if your youngster is sensitive to auditory input, you don’t need to hire a person who is talkative, loud, and a cell-phone chatter. If your youngster likes to swing or jump on the trampoline endlessly or loves to play the same video game over and over, it would be good to find someone who enjoys these activities.
One of the most effective ways to train a new person to be a successful sitter is to have them come hang out with the family for an afternoon or evening. That allows them to see your youngster in his natural environment and to see how family members interact with him. It also gives your youngster an opportunity to develop connections with this new friend in a familiar, low-pressure environment. Teach the sitter about emergency procedures, but, most importantly, teach them to just slide into the regular routine without fanfare and to remain low-key and calm in all circumstances
TIP FOR THE DAY. Although every family is different, it usually doesn’t work to have a sitter just suddenly show up and have the parents walk out the door for the day. You can help ease that transition by (1) calmly talking in advance about their friend coming over, (2) keeping the regular routine for the afternoon or evening intact, and (3) making some special treats such as foods, games, movies, or favorite activities available. The winning strategy is to find someone who has fun hanging out with your youngster rather than just getting paid to “watch” him.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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