FAQautism

A parent talked about new challenge her family faces with her 13-year-old son diagnosed with autism. The mom reports that the typically quiet and compliant youngster has begun throwing temper tantrum – yelling and slamming doors and running from room to room – sometimes for hours every evening at bedtime

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It is probably little consolation, but this is a problem that many parents of teens – with and without autism – encounter. We are going to approach the meltdown problem in two steps. First, we will look at some of the catalysts, some of the issues that may be causing the nighttime explosions. Then, in the second podcast in this series, we will look at some options for addressing the issue. Here are some catalysts for teen outbursts and meltdowns at bedtime.

1. Power play. Sometimes adolescents are testing their parents. They push the limits to the max to find out who is, indeed, in charge – the teen or his parents? The youngster wants to find out if he is able to manipulate his parents and get what he wants by throwing a temper tantrum.

2. Noticing others. It may be that this youngster has just now started connecting with other people and noticing what others are doing. It may be that he is just now noticing that his parents and older siblings are staying up longer – watching television, playing video games, talking on the phone, and otherwise having fun. Even if the youngster with autism knows how to talk, he may not know exactly how to communicate the fact that he wants to stay up so he doesn’t want to miss the fun.

3. Transition issues. The announcement of bedtime by his parents may be interrupting his favorite video game or book or television show. This problem arises in homes of all teens, but is magnified by the fact that individuals with autism tend to struggle with change, with interrupted activities, and with transitioning from one activity to another.

4. Impatient parents. Sometimes parents are unwittingly impatient. Without intending to do so, parents can put pressure on their kids and rush them to get ready for bed and out of their hair. In some cases, the parents are feeling pressure to get a long list of chores done before they can go to bed themselves. On another night, they may be rushing kids to bed so they don’t miss their favorite television show or so they can continue their computer game. Pre-teens often pick up on these signals and rebel.

5. Bad habit. In some cases, a youngster has a meltdown one night for no particular reason, then it becomes a routine. Once an individual with autism has gotten into a habit – even an uncomfortable habit – he often needs something positive and dramatic to break the cycle and start a new bedtime routine. In tomorrow’s podcast, we’ll look at a plan that has worked for several families of teens who had explosions at bedtime.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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