Starting to Talk
Although most people with autism communicate basic needs and opinions in one form or another, not everyone is able to carry on a conversation. Some individuals with autism don’t actually begin communicating purposefully until they are adults. But, whether conversation skills begin emerging at age four or forty, we can take some purposeful steps to encourage communication at this critical stage.
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Presence. Your friend with autism needs someone to talk to, so take time throughout the day to sit quietly and just chat. Sometimes you’ll want to sit face to face (like at a table or a booth at the ice cream shop) and sometimes sit side by side (like on a porch swing or the couch.) Don’t try to fill all the silences. Just relax and take time to listen. The key to success is for as many people as possible to spend short bits of time throughout the day in casual conversations that are uninterrupted by television or schedules or other distractions.
Topics. You can encourage casual conversation by looking at books or photos together or by talking about plans for an upcoming project or ideas for an afternoon snack. If your friend with autism gets stuck on one topic or doesn’t seem to be able to formulate an idea, you can “jump-start” the conversation by pointing out a bird sitting on a fence or by showing him a shell you found at the beach. You can also ask questions about recent events or ask his opinions or preferences. For example, you could ask if he likes summer weather or winter weather best. Or you could ask him if he prefers sleeping on the top bunk or the bottom bunk. Then share your opinion about the topic.
Silence. Because many individuals with autism have delays in processing auditory information, we need to slow down our conversations and leave silences that allow our friends to process information and to formulate a response.
TIP FOR THE DAY. As a person’s conversational skills emerge, you can help the process by purposefully and systematically focusing on presence and topics – taking time throughout each day to help your friend discover the joy of talking and interacting with other folks.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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