Counting Blessings
As the glitter and merriment of Christmas begin to fade, we can come face to face with some stark realities. School won’t start for another week, and our children with autism are struggling to adapt to all the free time in loosely structured days. Our patience is wearing thin, and so is our wallet. Our impatience and frustration can result in focusing on all the negative aspects of our youngsters with autism. Maybe it is time to step back and count our blessings.
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Some individuals with autism are easy to love. They are easy-going, compliant, and self-reliant. But others present significant behavior problems or need help with self-care or otherwise drain our time and energy. It certainly doesn’t seem appropriate to complain about an individual with special needs, but sometimes, in reality, we reach the end of our rope. Our irritation can blind us to any redeeming qualities, making it impossible to count even one blessing. The post-holiday season is a time when we are particularly vulnerable to focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive.
Try the “Just One” strategy to shift gears. Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper. On the left side of the line, write down every single aspect you find irritating about your friend with autism. Leave nothing out. Write down your frustrations about challenging or difficult issues related to communication, behavior, social skills, self-help skills, repetitive rituals, inflexibility, intolerance for change, extraordinary sensory sensitivities, or other irritating habits.
On the right side of the paper, write down something positive about your friend with autism. The objective is to think of at least ONE endearing characteristic. In most cases, our minds start flowing once we write down just one appealing trait, and the list grows. But, even if our friend is particularly challenging, we can always find at least one engaging aspect to put on that positive list.
Take a look at the list on the right side of the paper and give thanks for each item, even if it is “just one.” Then tear the paper in half and throw it in the trashcan with the resolution to deal with challenges and to appreciate positive moments, counting your blessings no matter the circumstances.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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