Emerging Thanks
Sometimes autism can rob people of joy. Just before Thanksgiving last year, a mom of an 8-year-old with autism confessed that she thought her heart would break when she realized her son had autism. Over time, the family began to recognize their blessings. Her comments touched many people, so we are sharing her story again as we approach the holiday.
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After some thought and a few tears, the mother said, “As time passed, we could see that we were, indeed, blessed with a very special child. He deals with many challenges every day, but we give thanks for the little glimmers of joy we see occasionally. Sometimes we get discouraged or frustrated, but we have learned to cherish peaceful moments, to recognize glimmers of personal contact, and to give thanks for our son.”
The mom and her family do not feel as if they are looking through rose-colored glasses. She said, “People probably think that I just talk about counting my blessings because I am sentimental or because I’m trying to find some sort of fictional silver lining related to my son’s autism. But I don’t think that’s the case. We have three other kids, and our son has really taught the whole family to be less self-centered and to look at the world from a different perspective. On many days, the frustrations outweigh the joys, but that is the case with ALL four of our children!”
Not all family members have come to a point where they can feel like giving thanks. It is difficult to watch as our loved ones struggle with basic communication, with extraordinary sensory issues, with obsessive behaviors, with friendships, and with other issues related to autism. Some individuals with autism require a great deal of assistance, and will probably need help for the rest of their lives. so we can be too worn out to feel thankful.
A parent of an adult who is struggling with lots of issues right now sent an e-mail saying she is “caregivered out right now.” One sibling confided, “It sounds selfish for me to say this, but I really wish my brother had not been born with autism. His autism just rules everything in our lives.”
TIP FOR THE DAY: We certainly cannot ignore the strain and disappointment and concerns that many families encounter when faced with autism. At the same time, if we pause to reflect occasionally, we can recognize blessings that seem very insignificant to most folks, but they can fill our lives with thanksgiving.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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