20 November 2008

Calm Down 2

Furious outbursts and meltdowns are unwelcome interruptions that cause stress to escalate for everyone involved. It is difficult to remain calm when a person explodes, but quiet, measured, predictable responses help dissipate the storm. Sometimes an angry individual with autism needs some quiet time away from others in order to calm down.

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In yesterday’s podcast, Calm Down 1, we discussed the wisdom of keeping a cool head in the face of extreme angry and of responding in a quiet, unruffled manner. We also shared some ideas for helping a person with autism vent their anger and frustration in a more appropriate way. Today we will look at a few other field-tested strategies.

LOOK AWAY. Sometimes an angry person just needs a bit of time and space. We can encourage other people in the room to look the other way. This “reverse time-out” strategy also helps assure that the angry person doesn’t suddenly become the center of attention and that angry, hurtful behavior isn’t encouraged or reinforced.

CALM DOWN. As soon as a glimmer of calm behavior emerges, a window of opportunity opens for a measured response from us. So, what do we say? Different people react to different strategies when calming down after a temper tantrum. For example, some folks respond to personal attention and an invitation to rejoin group activities, but others need some quiet time away from other people. For some folks, this is a teachable moment where it is appropriate to discuss their anger and to teach them more appropriate reactions. Other individuals resist even the most constructive guidance at this point. Some individuals appreciate our giving them opportunities to express the reasons for their anger as they emerge from an explosive outburst. Other individuals prefer to be left alone at this point.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Take time to discover whether or not it is productive to talk with your friend with autism is angry, or if it works better to let them cool down. Anticipate meltdown and outbursts so you can help your friend with autism learn what to do if they feel their temper boiling to the surface. We need to not only teach our temperamental friends to remain calm, but to also keep our own emotions in heck.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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