Semi-Independent Living
Some adults with autism hover right on the edge of being able to live independently, but they need monitoring and reminders to stay on track, to take care of daily tasks, and to remain safe. For example, some individuals who do not need continual care may forget to eat or to bathe without reminders. Others have a job and friends, but are unable to drive or manage their own money. So, how can we help our friends balance the ability to live with some independence while at the same time receiving essential assistance?
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Some families set up a separate living space in or near the family home to allow for semi-sheltered, semi-independent living. The “apartment” can be a garage apartment, a separate bedroom and bath in the family home, or an apartment down the street. One young adult lives in the second floor of his grandmother’s home.
Even if the room is in the family home, the move into his “own place” should be heralded with the same attention as if he were purchasing his own home in another state. Encourage the young adult to select his own decorating scheme, selecting and arranging furniture and belongings as he likes. If necessary, help him learn to use the key and how to lock his new apartment. If he needs assistance with daily tasks, help him make a schedule for cleaning the apartment, for planning meals, for daily grooming, and other necessary tasks.
You can ease into independent living by introducing new skills gradually, For example, if your friend’s health is jeopardized because he cannot be relied upon to prepare all meals, you might consider teaching him to prepare one simple meal a day, then to share other meals with his family each day until he learns that critical skill.
Even if your young adult is living in his own apartment in your home, you can encourage independence by letting him make his own decisions and by allowing him to make mistakes, as long as they do not threaten security or safety. We all have difficulty backing off when our children grow into adults, but the transition to independence depends on our ability to avoid nagging and micro-managing every detail of a person’s life.
We welcome your input and ideas and questions. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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