FAQautism

Do we get too caught up in the diagnosis of autism? Can we run the risk of failing to see a real kid standing in front of us because we are so focused on developing strategies to address his autism?

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CONNECT. Take time every day to connect with the real kid. Sit on a swing or read a favorite comic or water the plants or play fetch with the dog. If your time is really limited, grab 60 seconds from each hour to relax, sit beside your friend, and talk casually. Don’t worry about whether or not they join the conversation. Just take time to connect.

KID FIRST. Look around at other kids his age and give him opportunities to enjoy the same activities and music and clothes. Help him connect with his peers by getting a real kid haircut and the latest video game and cool shoes like the other kids. Even if he doesn’t seem to pay attention to the world around him, get out in the world and enjoy ball games and walks in the park and ice cream cones.

PRIORITIES. Make all decisions about education, medical issues, therapeutic interventions, and other strategies to address autism through the eyes of your youngster. Take time to weigh the pros and cons of every strategy, and add a huge measure of “quality of life” into every decision. How will this decision impact the quality of life of your youngster 20 years from now?

CRITICISM. Just ignore judgmental comments and criticism. Spend your time and energy helping enrich your child’s life and helping him learn new skills rather than on nursing a grudge or pouting. No one has walked in your shoes, so don’t worry about the opinions of others. At the same time, you don’t want to build a fence to isolate you from friends, family, teachers, and others who want to lend a helping hand. Keep an open mind and seek out constructive criticism and helpful hints from others.

BALANCE. Don’t become obsessed with autism. Family members can become so engrossed in conferences, books, training sessions, and support groups that they are lost in the world of autism rather than focusing on the real kid standing right in front of them. Learn what you can, but remember that personal relationships, spending quality time, and connecting with the real kid are the keys to contentment.

We welcome your input. Share challenges and ideas based on your experiences or intuition. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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