Half-Empty or Half-Full
We all encounter challenging issues sometime during our life. When those heartbreaks and headaches come, we often receive well intentioned advise to view the cup of life as half-full rather than half-empty. In a recent conversation on Seesmic.com, Tamara de Callatay made an interesting observation about the tradition of viewing our cups as half-empty or half-full. If your life is impacted in any way by autism, you may want to consider Tamara’s thoughtful words.
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Tamara cautioned against focusing on a symbolic cup that is half-empty or half-full. She suggested that using the cup analogy to weigh various aspects of our life causes us to dwell unnecessarily on the negative aspects of every situation. Tamara has realized over time that the recipe for calmness and satisfaction with our life circumstances is acceptance -simply accepting each day as it comes rather than mulling over each issue in an effort to determine whether the good outweighs the bad.
Dellinda Henry, the mother of three young adults who are dealing with significant, spirit-crunching issues in their lives, echoes Tamara’s sentiments. One of her sons has significant, potentially life-threatening health issues. She said that she has learned to quit asking unanswerable questions such as, “Will Jamie live through the night?” Dellinda wrote, “Only God knows the answers to so many questions that pop up in the minds of parents of kids with significant disabilities.” She went on to say, “I’ve learned to stop asking unanswerable questions. If my question is best answered by saying, ‘Who knows?’ or ‘Who can say?’ then it is a futile question.” Dellinda has learned over several decades of parenting that futile questions only weigh her down, make her focus on the negative, and snatch away any positive benefits that may arise from difficult circumstances.
Neither Tamara nor Dellinda wear rose-colored glasses, nor do they recommend we simply pretend difficult issues do not exist. But both have learned that their limited time and energy is best utitlized taking each day as it comes and realizing that some things are out of their control.
We realize the attitude of accepting life circumstances as they come careening our way is a bit radical. We welcome your thoughts, your suggestions, and your strategies for dealing with difficult challenges that inevitably pop up in the lives of some individuals with autism. Share challenges, frustrations, and ideas based on your experiences or intuition. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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