Encouraging Cooperation
We can spend a great deal of time and energy correcting and reprimanding youngsters. Most of the time our scolding goes right over the top of a child’s head. They are often oblivious to the fact that we are frustrated and puzzled when we get angry. Rather than falling into the trap of endless nagging, we might consider some basic strategies that encourage cooperation.
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PICK YOUR BATTLES. Raising perfect children is an unrealistic goal. Rather than nagging about dozens of issues, we might want to focus on just a few key target areas on any given day. For example, a parent might ignore a teen’s messy room as long as the youngster takes a shower, wears clean clothes, and remembers to take his backpack to school. Teachers might ignore flapping and rocking if a ten-year-old is focusing on the teacher and participating in classroom activities. We might encourage an explosive three-year-old to engage in parallel play initially rather than forcing him to share a favorite toy with another child.
BE SPECIFIC. Get on level with the youngster and speak softly but firmly, stating the desired behavior in very specific terms, e.g. “Roll the trash can to the curb, please,” or “Sit here now.” Maintain your attention with a firm gaze. You might ask the youngster to respond by saying “ok” or “sure” if they are able to speak. Give the individual with autism plenty of time to process the information, to decide to be cooperative, and to formulate a response.. Don’t forget to give a “thumbs up” or “a-ok” sign when they cooperate. If the youngster does not follow the direction, keep your cool and repeat the strategy.
If we watch our words and avoid nagging about every little detail, everyone is happier, and we can focus on the important issues in life. Our goal is to give our friends with autism nudges every single day toward being pleasant, cooperative, friendly people.
We encourage you to share challenges and ideas for encouraging cooperation. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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