Arrival of Adolescence
Teenagers tend to push the limits on clothing, hair, shoes, sleep, music, leisure time activities, language, and friends. Adolescents sometimes resist chores, homework, and family activities. Hormonal changes can cause moodiness, defiance, or oversensitivity. When teens with autism reach this stage, the adults in their lives might need to take a deep breath, hold on tight, and hope everyone survives!
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Although adolescence can cause some headaches and heartaches, we can be thankful that our youngsters with autism are displaying some of the behaviors and attitudes characteristic of all teenagers.
1. Celebrate! Parents and teachers express concerns when youngsters with autism start behaving differently and disrespecting authority when they hit adolescence. In some ways, we can celebrate the fact that our youngsters are functioning on the same level as their “typical” peers. Entering this stage of life means they are following the same path as other kids their age.
2. Get help. Sometimes parents and teachers of youngsters with autism focus on information that is specific to autism only, and forget to look at resources for typical families and classrooms. Check out the wealth of resources designed to help everyone survive the rocky teen years. Books, websites, workshops, and peer support groups are available for teens, family members, teachers, and others dealing with the challenges of adolescence.
3. Pick your battles. Adolescent years are, by nature, filled with conflict. Both adults and teens can benefit from taking a close look at their priorities, and letting other issues slide. And it isn’t always necessary to win an argument or to force the other person to admit defeat. Sometimes adults and teens can benefit from compromise. Sometimes it is more productive to agree to disagree.
TIP OF THE DAY. Although factors unique to autism may magnify the problems, the fact remains that conflict between adults and teens is a natural part of growing up. So, just relax and enjoy the ride.
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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