FAQautism

As much as we would like to do so, we simply cannot address every single issue in the lives of our friends with autism. Teachers, therapists, family members, job coaches, and others learn to pick their battles, a strategy that requires us to ignore some behaviors that might otherwise be high on a list of priority issues.

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For example, under normal circumstances, we would not ignore a youngster kicking the leg of a chair or obsessively putting cards in and out of a box. But, if we are in the midst of helping the youngster learn to stop screaming and throwing items, we might ignore the chair leg and the card box while working on two much more disruptive and hurtful behaviors.

In the same way, we might initially encourage a youngster with autism with emerging language every time he utters a word, even if he is interrupting another speaker. Once he is more verbal, we can shape the concept of waiting until it is his turn to speak.

We might choose to ignore a youngster repetitively murmuring, “Time to say goodbye” if, after months of avoiding all classroom activities, he is beginning to remain in his chair and participate in a group activity.

A person with autism who is learning to use a fork and spoon rather than eating with his fingers might initially make a mess. Although we wouldn’t encourage messy eating, we certainly wouldn’t fuss at the youngster if food slipped off his utensils.

A classroom teacher was thrilled when a young student with autism made an effort to put his backpack on a hook when he came into the room. She gave him high-fives, ignoring the fact that his backpack landed on the floor.

Teachers and family members of a teenager with autism also celebrated when he began using the toilet rather than wetting his diapers and his bed. For the time being, they are ignoring the fact that he will not use the toilet for a bowel movement. Hopefully, that will come in time. But, he has cleared the first hurdle in toilet training, so they are ignoring the soiled diapers for the time being.

We hope you will join the conversation, sharing your experiences and thoughts about selectively ignoring some issues or behaviors. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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