25 September 2008

Balancing Needs

How can we balance the needs of a youngster with autism who has significant behavior issues with those of our other children at home or in the classroom? A stepfather of a youngster with autism asked that question in a post to Autism.About.com. He said his son is non-verbal, though communicative i.e. pulling you toward the door if he wants to go outside or bringing you a cup if he is thirsty. He rarely exhibits any detectable interests other than flapping, hand-posturing, pacing, and eating things like dirt, candles, soap, and tissue. The dad said that he is struggling to find time for the other three children in the house since his son with autism requires so much attention and supervision The dad asked that other parents share ideas for balancing attention between all the kids.

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I could write a book in response to this issue, but will, instead, share a few ideas that have worked for other parents and teachers in similar situations.

1. Safe Haven. Create two or three places in the house where your son can “hang out” with minimal supervision. This can be a room that is close to the family living space or a fenced place in the backyard with a swing or trampoline. Some individuals with autism have their own rocking easy chair in the family room with an iPod, tear-proof books, or other leisure time activities.

2. Buddy. Hire a college student or other person who can hang out with your son for a few hours each day so you can devote that time to your remaining three kids. So, for example, your son’s buddy could spend time with him for a few hours every evening after supper or every afternoon after school so parents can spend time with other kids for homework and other school activities. If hiring an outside person is impossible, then tag team with your wife, trading off every hour to allow one of you to spend time with the kids while the other spends time with your son with autism.

3. Change the Changeable. Make a comprehensive list of the behaviors that require constant supervision and make all changes possible to decrease the amount of necessary supervision. So, for example, childproof the house, making all dangerous items and “pica” objects inaccessible.

4. Keep Searching. Keep searching for leisure-time pursuits that would capture the interest of your son. Look for age-appropriate child-proof items or activities. Every individual with autism has different needs and interest, but keep an eye out for interesting toys or gadgets, squishy balls, lighted objects, music, video games and other visually interesting activities, a trampoline, a swing, a swinging hammock, walks in the park, a hot tub, an inflatable ball pit, a three-wheel bike, Hot Wheels cars, playing cards, laminated photos of family and friends, stuffed animals with audio chips, nesting toys, or anything that he can enjoy with minimal supervision.

We welcome ideas for others encountering similar issues. Just click on the comments button or send a message to talk@FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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