Last week I was talking with an informal gathering of parents - a circumstantial meeting outside the grocery store. Because of the wide age ranges of their youngsters, most of these parents had not met. It was neat to hear the conversation unfold. Although their life circumstances are vastly different, all found common ground when talking about the demands of non-stop parenting.

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The group included a widowed grandmother who has raised her adolescent granddaughter, a divorced dad of a young adult son, a married couple with two children diagnosed with autism, and a single mother of a pre-teen daughter with autism and her brother. Here are some of the issues they brought up.

CONSTANCY. Over time, they have all come to realize the on-going, constant responsibilities involved in 24/7 parenting that will continue for the rest of their lives.

DIFFERENCES. As the conversation progressed, the parents became more aware of the differences in functioning levels and needs of their youngsters. The term “autism” is VERY broad. Their frame of reference about daily issues is based on their child. The issues for another family dealing with autism may be VERY different.

SUPPORT. The conversation revealed that each family had vastly different support systems. Some had a broad network of family and friends to call on in the time of need, while others had one or two reliable folks to lend a helping hand. Others felt they had no one to call on for help with daily care or emotional support.

SHORTAGES. Every parent acknowledged that they had reluctantly accepted the fact that they couldn’t make life perfect for their family and that they faced constant shortages of time, energy, and money to take care of all the details that needed their attention. At the same time, they discussed the fact that other family members were still struggling with that issue, and spent a lot of energy striving to make everything perfect.

MORE DIFFERENCES. The four caregivers realized in this discussion that they had very different opinions about autism – the role of the school, the role of government, the best treatment, the underlying cause, and the best direction for their child’s life. They realized that what is right for their child and family is not necessarily right for another person with autism and their family.

Please join this conversation. Share your thoughts. Just click on the comments button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com