FAQautism

At what point are we guilty of stepping over the line when trying to manage the details of the lives of our children or students or friends with autism? Of course, we want to make the path smoother and to help people reach their full potential, but at what point are we going overboard in our attempts to change or cure our friends? When commenting on our tendency toward micromanagement, a teacher said, “I would certainly be irritated if everyone around me were constantly implementing strategies to change everything I thought or did or said.”

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Most of us certainly have the best intentions when helping shape social skills or communication or other skills that contribute to our friend’s quality of life. But sometimes it is wise to take a step back and consider questions such as these.
(1) Is it critical that we take away a ragged blanket or toy that a pre-teen clings to obsessively?
(2) Must we introduce an intensive strategy to eliminate rocking or soft humming sounds for individuals who are generally content and compliant?
(3) Is there any merit in forcing a person with autism to maintain eye contact with a person who is speaking to them?
(4) Must every minute of the day be structured, or is it appropriate to allow some downtime e.g. sitting on a couch with a collection of old toys after school every day.

The answers to these challenging questions are, of course, different for every individual. But, in general terms, we might want to carefully consider the extent to which we need to manage the details of any person’s life, including individuals with autism. It is certainly important to explore and pursue effective therapies, treatments, interventions, and strategies – medical, educational, social, and emotional – that can impact the wellbeing of our friends with autism. The key is to balance those with family time, interpersonal relationships, interesting adventures, and good old-fashioned fun. We welcome your thoughts about these issues. Either click on the “comment” button on the website, or send us an e-mail message talk@FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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