FAQautism

Parents and teachers express concerns when youngsters with autism start behaving differently and disrespecting authority when they hit adolescence. From the opposite perspective, teens with autism have written to FAQautism.com or commented about parents who criticize them at every turn. Although factors unique to autism may magnify the problems, the fact remains that conflict with adults is very common in the lives of all teens. In some ways, we can celebrate the fact that our youngsters are functioning on the same level as their “typical” peers.

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Adults are concerned when some teens with autism begin ignoring verbal directions and questioning adults in authority. As youngsters grow, they seem to push the limits on clothing, hair, shoes, sleep, music, leisure time activities, language, and friends. Adolescents sometimes resist chores, homework, and family activities. Hormonal changes can cause moodiness, defiance, or oversensitivity.

When teens with autism reach this stage, the adults in their lives might need to take a deep breath and hope they survive. Meanwhile, they can consider these points.

1. Celebrate! Although adolescence can cause some headaches and heartaches, we can be thankful that our youngsters with autism are displaying some of the behaviors and attitudes characteristic of all teenagers. Entering this stage of life means they are following the same path as other kids their age.

2. Get help. Sometimes parents and teachers of youngsters with autism focus on information that is specific to autism only, and forget to look at resources for typical families and classrooms. Check out the wealth of resources designed to help everyone survive the rocky teen years.

3. Pick your battles. Adolescent years are, by nature, filled with conflict. Both adults and teens can benefit from taking a close look at their priorities, and letting other issues slide. And it isn’t always necessary to win an argument or to force the other person to admit defeat. Sometimes adults and teens can benefit from compromise. Sometimes it is more productive to agree to disagree.

The teen years are, at best, challenging for teens and for adults. Take a minute to send us a message about challenges you have encountered and ideas for making the most of adolescence. Just click on the “comments” button or send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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