Babysitters
As cute little kids with autism grow into teens and adults, the issue of babysitters gets more and more challenging. Let’s face it – our youngsters tend to prefer predictable routines and familiar faces, so they usually don’t usually give strangers a warm welcome. In fact, the very phrase, “I’ll call the babysitter” can be a catalyst for explosive or withdrawn behavior. At the same time, life is more satisfactory for everyone in the long run if youngsters with autism learn they cannot hold their families hostage over the babysitting issue.
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Behavior issues, Quality of Life, Caregiver Support, Social Skills
One strategy that has proven successful for several families of people with autism is to simply avoid the term “babysitter.” Instead, the families develop long-term relationships with four or five reliable individuals. These folks might be retired teachers or therapists, college students, friends of the family, or neighbors. Rather than being labeled as “babysitters,” the families call them “our friend Brandi” or “our friend Michael.” Rather than raising a red flag by saying, “I’m going to call the babysitter,” the parents might say, “I wonder if Brandi would like to come hang out at our house on Saturday.”
QUALIFICATIONS. It goes without saying that “our friends” must be reliable and trustworthy. It is also helpful if you can find a person who matches your youngster’s personality. For example, if your youngster is sensitive to auditory input, you don’t need to hire a person who is talkative, loud, and a cell-phone chatter. If your youngster likes to be in touch with folks while swinging or reading or playing the same video game over and over, it would be good to find someone who enjoys these activities and has fun hanging out with your youngster rather than just “watching” him.
TRAINING. One of the most effective ways to train a new person to be a successful sitter is to have them come hang out with the family for an afternoon or evening. That allows them to see your youngster in his natural environment and to see how family members interact with him. It also gives your youngster an opportunity to develop connections with this new friend in a familiar, low-pressure environment. Teach the sitter about emergency procedures, but, most importantly, teach them to just slide into the regular routine without fanfare and to remain low-key and calm in all circumstances
TRANSITION. Although every family is different, it usually doesn’t work to have a sitter just suddenly show up and have the parents walk out the door for the day. You can help ease that transition by (1) calmly talking in advance about their friend coming over, (2) keeping the regular routine for the afternoon or evening intact, and (3) making some special treats such as foods, games, movies, or favorite activities available.
The topic of babysitters could fill a book, but these are some ideas to consider. We welcome your input. Let us know what challenges you have encountered or what strategies have worked for you and your friend with autism. Just click on the comments button or send us a message – talk@FAQautism.com
NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com
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