FAQautism

We receive many inquiries about the issue of public restrooms so we are repeating a podcast from six months ago about this topic. A mom wrote: “I’m a mom with a grown autistic son. Not only do I worry about his safety when sending him unattended into the men’s restroom, but I also worry because his own restroom habits are frequently “in poor taste” and he often needs help with toileting and personal hygiene. I need some suggestions.”

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Your question about public restrooms is one that has haunted many, many parents. Even more challenging than a mom with an adult son is a single dad with a daughter who needs assistance. Many men’s rooms do not have doors on the stalls. And guys run into another layer of issues if their daughter is a screamer or has loud echolaic speech. Things become even more challenging as their daughters grow into teenagers, then young adults. So, consider some of these ideas to help with this very challenging issue.
+ Pre-plan trips into public places. Scout out places that have family restrooms and single-stall restrooms with doors that lock.
+ Have your son go to the bathroom before leaving home.
+ Talk to managers of restaurants, stores, your church, movie theaters, parks, and other public places that you frequent. Request a designated family restroom that has some space, a single stall, and a lockable door.
+ Limit liquids on long road trips where you’ve not had a chance to locate family restrooms or single restrooms with lockable doors.
+ If none of the above work, or in an emergency, forget sending him into the men’s room. Just take a deep breath, say a little prayer, ignore the disapproving looks of others, and march your son right into the handicapped stall of the ladies room. If you encounter anyone on the way, or if anyone complains, just smile sweetly and say, “I’m sure you understand that my son is diagnosed with autism, and he needs my help. Thank you for being so understanding.”
+ A friend told me she carries a sign in her purse that she can put on the door handle of a restroom. It says “OCCUPIED!”
+ You could even have some business cards printed to pass out if your son has a meltdown or needs to accompany you into the ladies room. It could say something like: “Thank you for your understanding of my son who is diagnosed with autism. He is a fine young man, but sometimes has difficulty with communication, social skills, or changes in routine. For more information about autism spectrum disorders, please click on www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/autism.cfm”

NOTE TO LISTENERS AND READERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can an email with your thoughts about challenging situations or innovative solutions to talk@FAQautism.com. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

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