Perfect Parents
Expecting perfection only leads to disappointment and headaches. Even the most organized, efficient person eventually discovers that it is impossible to attain the lofty goal of “Perfect Parent.” This is true of parents of typical kids as well as of parents of kids who need additional attention because of autism.
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The key to meeting daily challenges is to relax. “But,” you might say, “Who has time to relax?” Maybe a better word would be to “prioritize.”
1. Pick the MOST important issues for each day, and just ignore issues you cannot control.
2. Figure out when the stress-level gets out of hand, and take specific steps to make those times more calm. For example, you might anticipate the craziness of the morning rush and the bedtime hassle, and insert a bit of humor so the stress level decreased for everyone.
3. Make a list of things that MUST get done and let the other things slide occasionally.
Don’t get so bogged down in the list that you fail to take time to enjoy your relationship with your youngster and other family members.
4. Forgive yourself and others if some things don’t get done or if you fall short of perfection.
By the way, these principles apply to teachers, therapists, and other professionals and other family members as well as parents. Although a certain amount of intensity and dedication on our part is certainly critical to the well-being of our friends with autism, we need to walk away from the edge of that cliff called “Perfection” so we don’t drive ourselves or our loved ones over the edge.
We welcome your thoughts about this topic. Just send a message to talk@FAQautism.com
Note to FAQautism.com listeners and readers: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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