Finding Enough Time
“The extended holiday break has really helped us see that we spend a great deal of time every day supervising and caring for our son with autism, leaving us very little time to spend time with our other children,” said parents of three youngsters, ages 4 to 9 years. Other parents have expressed some frustration at the imbalance between time spent with their youngster with autism and their other children. When one child needs hands-on help with many aspects of their daily care or constant supervision to prevent dangerous or disruptive situations, it can be hard to carve out time for other kids in the family.
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This is a challenge encountered by many families of individuals with autism. The problem is magnified for single parents. Although there is no single strategy that solves this issue, family members may want to consider any or all the following strategies which have worked for families looking for ways to spend more quality time with all youngsters in the family.
1. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. Constantly search for leisure-time pursuits that would capture the interest and attention of your youngster with autism so he can entertain himself for longer bits of time each day. That frees up some time to spend with other kids in the family. Look for age-appropriate child-proof items or activities. Every individual with autism has different needs and interests, but keep an eye out for things like intriguing toys or gadgets, squishy balls, lighted objects, music, video games and other visually interesting activities, a trampoline, a swing, a swinging hammock, walks in the park, a hot tub, an inflatable ball pit, a three-wheel bike, a puppy, nesting toys, clever audio gadgets and toys, or anything that he can enjoy with minimal supervision.
2. SAFE HAVEN. Create two or three places in the house where your son can “hang out” with minimal supervision. This can be a room that is close to the family living space or a fenced place in the backyard with a swing or trampoline. Some individuals with autism have their own rocking easy chair in the family room with an iPod, tear-proof books, or other leisure time activities.
3. CHANGE THE CHANGEABLE. Make a comprehensive list of the behaviors that require constant supervision and make all changes possible to decrease the amount of necessary supervision. So, for example, if your youngster needs diligent 24/7 supervision to prevent his swallowing or eating items, then childproof the house, making all dangerous items and “pica” objects inaccessible. Or, if, for example, everyone in the family is stretched to the limit on school nights, consider turning off the television and other “time-thieves” so you can maximize every minute with all your children.
4. SPEND TIME TOGETHER. Find ways every day for the family to enjoy doing something together. No need to do anything fancy – just help build connections with short, fun group activities. Every family has different interests, but consider team-building activities like taking a walk around the block after dinner each night or gathering around the dinner table every evening for ten minutes to read a short book or look at old family photos or write a group letter to Grandmamma.
More ideas about the issue of balancing time between all youngsters in a family will follow in upcoming podcasts. We welcome your ideas or challenging situations. Just send an e-mail to talk@FAQautism.com.
Note to FAQautism.com listeners and readers: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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