10 January 2008

Conversation Skills

Behavior Issues Communication Quality of Life Social Skills

Some of my friends with autism love to talk. I am tickled that they have good verbal skills and that they want to interact with other people. At the same time, my friends sometimes need guidance about appropriate conversations and etiquette. Today’s podcast will focus on a teen who needed to decrease interrupting other conversations.

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This young man with autism enjoyed talking to other people, but he had an irritating habit of constantly interrupting conversations of others. One of his major target goals at school, at work, and at home was to decrease interruptions. The objective was redefined so the focus was on increasing the time he waited quietly while others were talking. He was taught to be a “good listener” with his arms folded, mouth quiet, and ears open. He began waiting longer and longer before interrupting conversations. The adults in his world were also taught to occasionally include him in the conversation. Eventually his irritating habit of barging in on conversations dwindled down to an occasional interruption, something that could be expected of anyone his age.

This is the four-step plan that helped this teenager learn more appropriate conversation skills.
1. STATE TARGET GOAL IN POSITIVE TERMS. Rather than focusing on his irritating habit of interrupting others, the goal at school, work, and home was reworded to state the desired behavior in specific terms.
2. TEACH AN ALTERNATIVE BEHAVIOR. This young man was taught to be a “good listener.” When he noticed two people talking, he was to fold his arms, keep his mouth quiet, and keep his ears open. When he heard a pause in the conversation, he could make one comment to the group.
3. DON’T “DON’T.” Everyone around this young man was encouraged to avoid using the phrase “Don’t interrupt” and to, instead, say quietly, “Remember to be a good listener” to remind him of his new plan.
4. BE REASONABLE. The folks at his school, job, and home were encouraged to include this teenager in the conversation. It would be unreasonable to expect him to just stand quietly for long periods of time. And we should, of course, be encouraging a youngster with autism to converse with other people.

This four-step plan can be adapted to meet the unique needs of other individuals with autism who tend to interrupt conversations. We welcome any comments or ideas related to this topic. Just send us an e-mail talk@FAQautism.com

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com

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