Prioritizing Behaviors
“We are faced with lots of behavior issues with our son,” said parents of a pre-teen who is diagnosed with autism. “We don’t want to just nag him to death or be in a constant state of dealing with multiple behavior management plans. We need some help prioritizing and deciding which behaviors to tackle first.”
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(1) Dangerous Behaviors. The first priority, of course, would be to identify and address behaviors that are dangerous to the individual with autism or to those around him. For example, actions such as taking off a seat belt and opening the door of the car while it is moving or attempting to drink household cleaners need swift action. Other behaviors that require immediate attention include things like scratching or choking other people, plopping down in the middle of a street, breaking items, stripping in public, or other actions that are hurtful or extremely socially inappropriate. These situations need immediate, intense intervention.
(2) Second Tier Behaviors. Some behaviors are irritating or socially inappropriate or unhealthy in the long run. For example, an individual with autism might hum the same tune very loudly for hours, or systematically tear pages from books, or refuse to eat anything except Hershey’s Chocolate bars. These irritating or inappropriate behaviors and others like them can be addressed at some point with a pro-active, easy-to-implement strategy that systematically decreases the inappropriate behavior and increases an appropriate, incompatible behavior.
(3) Characteristic Behaviors. Some behaviors are rather inherent in individuals with autism. For example, it is simply the nature of autism to have repetitive motor mannerisms or to be obsessed with calendars, certain words, an object, or a person. In my opinion, we need to think carefully before spending too much time trying to get rid of those repetitive mannerisms, obsessions, or other behaviors that are common characteristics of individuals with autism.
(4) Age-Typical Behaviors. Not all issues are related to autism. When a teen with autism doesn’t seem to hear a word his parents say, he is acting very much like his typical peers. Or when a three-year-old rudely grabs a toy from another kid, she is paralleling typical developmental stages. We may find that some age-appropriate behaviors are magnified by autism, but others are simply part of growing up.
The key is to work toward maintaining balance. We need to have high expectations and help maximize the potential of our friends with autism. But we also need to avoid perfectionism and let some things slide by so our friends can enjoy a relatively “nag-free” life and maintain a positive, hopeful outlook.
Note to FAQautism.com listeners and readers: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. You can click on a button to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solutions. Check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. www.FAQautism.com
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